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Social Media Vs Relationships

In the last 5 years (so really not that long at all) we’ve all become obsessed with the idea that if we don’t continuously show off everything our partner does for us or with us, then somehow it isn’t a legitimate relationship worth having.

And even MORE importantly, if they aren’t showing us off then they aint worth s**t and you’ve gotta replace them ASAP with someone who truly appreciates you …. blah blah blah blah.

But why is this? And who’s fault is it? Can we blame the dozens of reality TV stars who’s jobs it is to showcase every aspect of their lives and flat everything they’re doing? Or does the issue sit with us and how easily we think we should be adopting the same life style?

I speak to so many people who feel that unless they’re being ‘shown off‘ on their partners social media accounts then they don’t feel validated. But why is the validation from strangers that you’ve convinced yourself you need, proof that you have a relationship worth having? What is it that makes us feel that we need to live every little detail with our partner from behind a phone screen, because you know ….. pics or it didn’t happen!

The important question to ask yourself really, is this …. how do you feel when you’re around your partner in real life? Do you feel safe, do you feel special, do they make you feel appreciated? If the answer to all of these questions are yes, then why are you still chasing after the views and opinions of random people to make you feel like your relationship is doing well? If you’ve been introduced to all the most important people in your partners life, then honestly, the rest of the world really shouldn’t matter.

But here’s my theory, because we all feel so easily replaceable these days, we almost have the need to make sure we’re sharing the highlight reel of our relationship online to make sure everyone knows how ‘untouchable‘ it is and how ‘#couplegoals‘ you are, because if outsiders constantly get fed a stream of how amazing you guys are doing together, then maybe, just maybe …. there’s less chance of someone trying to step in and replace you.

Before everyone felt the need to over share their romantic escapades online, relationships seemed a lot less fragile because they were far less under the watchful eye of hundreds or thousands (depending on your following) of people. But now here we all are, wanting to share posts about every meal, every trip out, every present, because we want onlookers to think our romantic lives are prefect?

But what about when you step away from social media and away from your phone, do you guys actually share a connection that isn’t even photographable? Or are the two of you a well put together image mainly for the benefit of your socials?

So what happens to those of you who prefer to keep your relationships ‘private‘ and I use the word private loosely because actually all it is, is just not flooding all your accounts with every single move you guys make together. But nowadays, unless you advertise your movements on your social media accounts you’re called private.

Maybe privacy is the way forward, so we can live more in the moment and stop chasing the validation from people who really we shouldn’t give a s**t about.

So if you want to be private or not, the first step really is to stop putting so much pressure on your relationship by feeling the need to live every second of it through your social media accounts and focus more on how your partner makes you feel in real life.

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So you’ve created a fake account (or you’re thinking about it)

So you’re sat there at home and you’ve talked yourself into a point where you feel like it’s totally fine and acceptable to create a fake social media account to stalk one of your ex’s. Sorry I mean to stalk ‘THE’ ex, the one you can’t seem to get over.

First of all I think we should all agree that you probably needed some kind of intervention before it got to this point, but never mind here we are.

Question number one in this situation will always need to be why you couldn’t just give them a follow on your actual account is already raising some serious alarms, so let’s consider some options as to why this could be shall we ….

  1. You cheated on them and now they’re doing better than you
  2. You’re the one that got cheated on and don’t want to seem pathetic
  3. They’ve been ignoring all your other methods of attempted contact
  4. They hate you (for whatever reason)
  5. You’re with someone else but still obsessing over them because you have an inability to be by yourself
  6. The shame of having them know you still want to see what they’re up to kills you inside
  7. Your actual profile just shows how shitty your life is without them

I think that’s enough reasons for now.

But lets revisit point five, you’re with someone else. If you chose to jump into a new relationship straight after the last one ended well it’s no shock that you’re in this position. Did you know on average it takes someone at least six months to get over a relationship as a minimum? But of course, this all depends of how intense and involved your relationship was.

If you’re still obsessing over what your ex is up to, then maybe you didn’t give yourself enough time alone to figure out who you are without them and replacing them with another body probably wasn’t the answer.

Ultimately, whatever your reason for creating a fake social media account for the purpose of stalking an ex, I think it’s safe to say you probably need a bit of help rather than the ability to see their life sprawled across your phone screen.