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Sometimes it sucks

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Sometimes, two people just click. Sometimes, the conversation flows easily. Sometimes, it sucks when it all hits a dead end way before it starts.

But maybe clicking with someone like that isn’t enough anymore, maybe it has to be more than a click to even be worth taking a risk on, especially when you’re not sure what you’ve got to lose.

When you walk away from someone you click with without any resolve, there’s so many questions left unanswered. There’s never any closure given. There’s never a surefire way to tell whether you just walked away from the love of your life without realising it or whether you didn’t lose anything special at all.

It sucks when someone stays a stranger when you’re curious about having something more.

I know it’s the worst when you meet someone, you feel a spark with them and you never get a chance to see if it could turn into something else, when a relationship is never even given the chance to get off the ground it’s kind of tragic. Personally, I hate when I hit it off with someone and nothing comes of it, it just turns into a moment preserved in time, but not one that you’ll even bother to remember forever.

It’s something that sucks right now, but hasn’t had a big enough impact to suck long term.

Maybe in a way I’d rather have something that can cause a long term effect, maybe then it would feel more worthwhile, rather than a wasted connection that you haven’t even given into long enough to see what it could become.

I really believe that throughout your life, you’ll meet and date people who simply won’t understand your sick twisted humour or laugh at the weird jokes you make, but you should wait for the person who can laugh along with you when no one else seems to get it, because this is the person you’ll click with, the one you’ll find things easy with and above all, the one who you won’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing to because they’ll just get it.

Throughout your relationships, it’s important to be patient. Be patient and wait for the person who is just as weird as you are, be patient for that click and make sure to give it a chance to get off the ground, after all …. you want to make sure it has the opportunity to suck long term.

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Resting Bitch Face

My resting bitch face is far more a reflection on you than it is on me.

If you think I look like I have an attitude problem, it’s because you’ve given me one. You see I have this slight problem, where I seem to have an ability to control the words that come out my mouth, but not the expression on my face.

This has its pros and cons … firstly, people will never have to question how I feel about them or whatever it is that they’re talking to me about, which is a huge pro, especially as I’m not the best person with all that emotion kind of stuff, so if I like someone, my eyes light up, I can’t stop smiling and overall I genuinely look engaged in everything they’re saying to me.

A massive con normally surfaces itself on first dates, if I find someone intolerable then my face will normally show just that, even when the words coming out of my mouth are very complementary. I have a real ability to look at someone as if they’re stupid when I don’t appreciate their presence.

People paint resting bitch face as a bad thing, as if it automatically means you have an attitude problem. But I have no problem smiling at the people I genuinely like.

And for the people I don’t like, well … I couldn’t really care less what you think. But at least my face has told you that I don’t like you, so now we can both go about our days with no confusion.

P.S did you also know that resting bitch face is a sign of intelligence, so when I look at you as if you’re stupid, it’s probably because compared to me you are.

Is Stubbornness My Defence Mechanism?

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I can openly admit to being a stubborn person. I feel the need to protect my opinions and my thoughts at all costs and not only this, when I am wrong admitting it seems to actually hurt my soul.
But be warned, being stubborn can ruin chances for you and it can also ruin relationships.

Try as I might to be open-minded and reasonable, I find it hard to take criticism. On an intellectual level, I understand there is no animosity from the individual who gives me constructive feedback, but I can’t help but experience an emotional reaction to it anyway, this brings me to the conclusion of my stubbornness just hiding my defensiveness.

Stubborn people are driven by a resistance to being forced into doing or experiencing anything against their will. I don’t want to go through the emotions I feel when I’m being criticised , so I make an excuse, and tell myself that I can’t be wrong and don’t need to change.

But I’ve figured something out …. the best way to reduce defensiveness in the long term is through creating a sense of self-worth. The more you value yourself, the less you will feel an instinctual “need” to protect your ego and I know I can say for sure that I always feel a need to protect myself.

But I’m trying to remember everyone makes mistakes, and everyone is wrong sometimes and when I find myself in situations where I am being stubborn or defensive unnecessarily then I need to remind myself it is ok to be wrong.

Listening to others side of the story of other opinions is very important. And listening is something I will find hard especially when I know it is going to lead to criticism.

Stubbornness and defensiveness are some of the worst, personality traits to have, yet they seem to be incredibly common. In fact, everyone experiences at least occasional instances of each (some people more than others) and I can openly admit to being one of these people.

But it’s something that can be worked on and I personally will be focusing on trying to better myself by reducing my shut down method of dealing with criticism.