Chat

It’s ok to be scared

giphy-3

It’s ok you know, to be scared of opening up to the possibility of someone being able to hurt you.

It’s ok to try and protect yourself in any way you know how, and actually it’s ok to sometimes take a step back and evaluate if you’re ready to give something your full attention or not. If the answer is no, then take comfort in knowing it’s ok to step away. But if the answer is yes, then you just need to get ready to ride the wave of uncertainty for a while.

Everyone will tell you how exciting those initial months are of dating someone, how the first parts are the most interesting, you’re finding out likes and dislikes, what’s ok and what’s not, things you have in common and things you’ll differ on opinion on and with that also comes the 10,000 opportunities the other person has to leave without even feeling slightly disheartened by it all, because in those early stages theres also no need to explain why you’ve done a disappearing act and theres no need to apologise for not giving someone a reason behind why you’ve decided they’re not for you anymore.

It’s ok to be scared of the moment that just as you’ve decided to give more, they’ve decided that they’re going to walk away.

It’s ok to feel nervous and worry that they’ll decide they don’t want you even though you want them.

It’s ok to get scared that they’ll be exactly like all the others and wonder off just as you want them to pull closer.

It’s ok to sometimes worry that you aren’t good enough, or that you aren’t brining enough to the table, we’re all human and sometimes we can over think things, but we shouldn’t be sacred of someone seeing us in a way that isn’t accurate, because if they do, then they aren’t the right person for you anyway.

But remember, in your initial exciting phase of dating, you have to remember you aren’t going to slot straight into priority number one on someones list, they aren’t going to know that you need a phone call at the end of each day to feel secure in your relationship or a few texts during the day from them saying they’re thinking of you and they miss you to make you feel like they’re still interested in you (they won’t know that you’re secretly needy AF), so instead of spending time fretting about it all, just embrace it and know that they’re getting to know you just as much as you’re getting to know them, it’s fine not to get everything right straight away!

One thing you shouldn’t be sacred of though, is ending up with the wrong person, because you’ll get a lot of people walk in (and sometimes out) of your life for reasons you can’t understand sometimes. So although you can be scared of getting your heart broken, don’t spend too long worrying about it. The one you’re supposed to end up with would never break your heart anyway.

Chat

Swings and roundabouts

Just like the story of Romeo and Juliet, but the edited version … where Romeo is a complete twat and Juliet is a needy bitch.

Oh and the fact that hopefully no one will die, except apparently it is possible to die of a broken heart and maybe just maybe that’s how this will end.

This story that’s going round and round, this stupid modern day romance story, where a happy ending is looking less and less likely because we have countless options of our fairy tale ending right at our finger tips.

Neither of you want the other at the right time and when one of you is falling hard the other one is shutting off faster than a fat man at a juice detox retreat. Because what’s more gross than when one person has feelings and the other one doesn’t (ew, cringe)

Remember as children we’re always told ‘oh you just want that because you can’t have it‘ well guess what … adults get that as well! Except it’s less likely to be with material objects and tends to be more with wanting attention from people we can’t get it from.

And that’s where we get back to “our story” because you’ll only want me when I’m pulling away from you and, to be fair this is where we’re the same and it is what I would class as our downfall.


The equation of you and me:

You + wanting me = me not wanting you + you getting bored = you giving less attention

(You – your undivided attention = me wanting you) = Me + wanting you = you not wanting me


I could be driving myself crazy being head over heels in love with you (and trust me I know because I have been) but because I feel like that we both know you’ll be pulling away at a rate of knots! It’s all so tragic and romantic (not).

Oh modern love! Aren’t you awful and disgusting! I wish we could go back to the era of our grandparents where you married your childhood sweetheart and stayed together forever, but nope. That’s not how life really works anymore.

So how does this compare to Romeo and Juliet? Well, it’s tragic isn’t it? Paired with the swings and roundabout leading to continuous heart break and external forces keeping two people apart.

Chat

Star Crossed Lovers

screen-shot-2017-03-27-at-9.00.52-am_0

Let me paint the scene for you …..

You’ve been seeing someone now for a few weeks, you’re getting on well. You’ve been learning lots about them and it all seems positive! You’re excited …. maybe this ones forever?!

You know you shouldn’t, but you do … I mean you have to right? You flick your laptop on, you put his name into your Facebook search bar and manage to find him instantly (obviously, who isn’t good at some light online stalking) but this isn’t about stalking through his past, finding all his ex’s or checking to see where he likes to hang out with his friends … no this is far more important. You click on his about tab, carefully scrolling through until you find that vital bit of information … got it!

So, October 1st …. that makes him a Libra.

Now the real analysis begins. Imagine if after all this time I find out that our star signs just aren’t compatible. GAME OVER!

Any girl who says she doesn’t do a star sign compatibility check on a guy she likes is a liar, we all do it, might as well shamelessly own up.

So, according to the ten various astrology sites that are now etched onto my browser history (could be worse) “a Taurus and a Libra are a bit of a wild card when it comes to compatibility, sometimes they work” … wait SOMETIMES? No, that’s not good enough, I’ll keep looking, the first ten could be confused.

“Taurus and Libra can end up seeming needy to one another, Taurus to Libra because of their emotional neediness and Libra to Taurus because of their physical one” 

Oh. well, I don’t class myself as being emotionally needy anyway so I’m sure it’s fine, I’ll read on.

“they are still two signs ruled by Venus and can be very attracted to each other”

Yes! Exactly, see I knew it would work out eventually.

“with enough patience they could be a really good fit”

Ok, well on that note I’ll have to bow out. Patience is not something I have. It was good while it lasted but it’s just not written in the stars for us.

*Unsubscribes from astrology weekly newsletter*

Next ….

 

Can We Still Be Friends?

IMG_3637.JPG

It’s taken a good 13 months, a lot of back and forwards but while I’m here sitting in your kitchen after spending a lovely day with you I think we have finally both realised that we can now be friends.

I hope we are both on the same page.
When you apologised for accidentally brushing my hand with your own while we were walking along the road I think we both realised, I didn’t get butterflies from your touch this time and don’t get me wrong my head is swimming with ideas of what I think I want to do to you, but I won’t, because it wouldn’t be right not for either of us.
You bought me lunch, which was lovely and we have spent some moments talking about old times and how things used to be. But I think we can both see now what was, never will be again.
I still love you, a lot. But it’s in such a different way now.
I love being able to talk to you when I want and I will try not to get jealous when you give another girl more attention than what you give me, because that’s the natural response I’ll have after all, we were together for a long time.
I just want you to know that I’m very glad I still have you in my life.
I’m sorry that we took it in turns to hurt each other, we shouldn’t have done that, neither of us deserved it.

I just had this need to make you want me back again after all you had done and after that I felt bad, but I couldn’t help but want to get you back for everything and I just want you to know I’m sorry.

But I’m glad it all happened because now we can move on and be civil to each other and that’s all I want. I want you in my life, as my friend.