Chat

What’s with the three word rush?

Three words. Eight letters. Say it and I’m yours.

Sounds simple. But timing is everything apparently. Some of us will say it too early and sadly some of us will say it too late.

So why is there SO much pressure to tell someone that you love them? I’m sure most of us have heard it before ‘you guys have been together for months, why haven’t you said it yet?’ – maybe it isn’t right for anyone around you to judge the timing of your relationship.

I’ve known people who will tell their boyfriend/girlfriend that they love them within the first month of dating and I’ve also known people for be dating for almost a year before they’ve uttered ‘I love you’. There’s no right or wrong with this, every relationship is different and we all move at our own pace.

Maybe those people who say it early aren’t scared of being hurt, maybe they’re more open and not afraid of letting their heart lead the way instead of their head.

But I can say with total certainty that I am not one of those people, I’ve always allowed my head to drive my decision making. It keeps me out of trouble, when my heart is careless, my head is there putting it back into check and reintroducing logic to the minefield of relationships.

Most of us will feel it way before we say it. There will be moments you’re with your person and you look at them and think, ‘I love this stupid face in front of me’ but does loving all their weird quirks and little things that make them who they are mean that you’re actually IN LOVE?

I’m going to play devil’s advocate and say no. I believe it’s possible to love things about someone before being in love with them. I think it’s the step before realising that your head has lost the battle of control and your heart is now running the rule book and controlling how you are in your relationship.

When I hear it, I want it to mean something, I want the person in front of me to mean it. I want them to be sure, I don’t want an ‘I love you’ thrown at me just because in that moment it feels like love.

I want him to have felt it for weeks, like a slow build up, I don’t want him to tell me straight away, I want him to make sure that what he feels is love. I don’t want him to have fallen for me because I’m perfect, I want him to have fallen in love with me because my weirdness and imperfections make him smile, I want him to fall in love with me because I make him and his life better. I want him to feel that with me he can be exactly who he is.

Because that’s what love is right? Looking at someone on their best days, their worst days and everything in between and saying …. this is it. This is what I want and there’s nothing anyone else could throw in my direction that wouldn’t make me want to end my day with you.

To me telling someone that I love them won’t happen within weeks. It’s going to take me a while to realise my heart is all in. But it means that when I do say it I need the person in front of me to know just how much I mean it.

While thinking about the next person who’s going to tell me they love me will always give me butterflies because I’m a hopeless romantic … I’m also in no rush for it to happen because I wouldn’t ever want someone to say it without being sure.

So just know, when I say those three words, those eight letters …. that I’m without a shadow of a doubt ALL YOURS. There isn’t a part of me that would even consider leaving.

Chat

Attachment Styles & Relationship Hurdles

Writing about first hand experiences is nerve wracking enough, let alone when it comes to openly admitting your flaws because of your attachment style.

People seem to think that we all have one kind of attachment style and until we own it and recognise what one we have, we aren’t able to change it and develop more meaningful relationships, but what about us strange and complicated individuals who’s attachment styles seem to be as fluid as the tea we’re spilling to our friends about our tragic relationship paths?

What if, some of us will experience different levels of attachment depending on how the person were with is making us feel within the relationship we’re developing with them?

Speaking as someone who always initially starts a relationship in a dismissive avoidant attachment style – which is basically a ‘I don’t need you or anyone else, all I need is my freedom to do what I want and when I want it so please don’t crowd my space and expect too much from me‘ kind of vibe, it’s hard to create an initial bond with someone. I know what you’re thinking … if you recognise this, then why not do something about it?

The key part to this story is that to me, if someone pushes through the emotionally shut down version of myself then when they get through to the caring side of me that would do anything in the world for them, then they really see what they’ve worked for.

Except this just isn’t ever the case, what tends to happen is when people eventually break through the ‘I don’t need you and can look after myself‘ attitude and are greeted with the ‘I want you in my life forever and will show you that in any way I can‘ well they don’t tend to want it anymore.

My experience with toxic narcissistic relationships has bought out a fearful dismissive attachment style in me that I never thought I’d have, but it’s the side of me that turns into a clingy mess when I don’t feel secure in my relationship (ugh god I hate my clingy phase more than anything!). I know that I crave stability and I look for that in my relationships, I want someone to come into my life with the intention to stay and when I’m not sure where I stand, a side of me comes out that I don’t even recognise.

I can see myself behaving in a weird clingy way that I would never do with someone new who I had no emotional attachment to. But this seems to be where the problem lies …. it takes me such a long time to realise I like someone that once I do, all the emotional attachment seems to hit me at once. What I need is for the person I’m dating to tell me that everything is ok and I immediately go back to being myself again and jump straight back into a secure attachment style. For me, when I hit my fearful dismissive phase all I need is some reassurance which generally tends to be the last thing someone wants to give you when you’re behaving weird and clingy!

But hey …. that’s past trauma rearing its ugly head for you!

When the person you’re dating starts acting even a little bit differently, you typically jump into a head space of thinking they don’t want you anymore and you get so badly triggered by your fear of rejection that its the only thing you can seem to concentrate on, especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night (but meditation seriously helps me during this little phase by the way).

And instead of pushing that person anyway, you try to pull them closer and hold on for dear life, because we can’t stand the thought of them going anywhere, when in reality they might just need a little breathing room and that’s totally fine.

But if you’re dating someone with a fearful avoidant attachment style and you need some space, a simple ‘I know we’re going through a bit of a phase at the moment, but I want you to know I’m not going anywhere’ kind of text will save you both A LOT of stress, trust me!

So maybe we don’t have control over our attachment styles, but maybe if we can recognise what phase we’re in and try to understand why we feel the way that we do, we’ll be able to cope with our rollercoaster of emotions a lot better and we can advise the person we’re dating on how to help us deal with them too!

Chat

No one will tick all of your boxes

100% My Type on Paper!

We all do it, sit there and create this formulated list of what we’re looking for in our ‘perfect‘ partner … but there’s the catch. A perfect person doesn’t exist, so you’re already setting yourself up for failure and a stream of disappointment when people don’t live up to the standards that you’ve set.

We need to steer away from creating an extensive criteria of what we want and don’t want in someone, while also getting out the habit of giving up on someone as soon as they take a step wrong, most things are fixable and don’t need to be thrown away or given up on all together just because someone has shown that they maybe aren’t as ‘perfect‘ as you first thought.

Even custom made things that come from factories sometimes aren’t even perfect, and as human beings we all come with prewired quirks that will make us more or less appealing to certain people, life is all about finding the person who’s quirks we find endearing, because lets face it, dating someone who was made in a factory would be bloody boring.

When we start dating someone it’s important to gain an understanding of their background, because this will give you an insight into how they’ve become the person that they are when you’ve met them. Don’t be scared to talk about their parents and how they’ve formulated ideas of family units, ask what their future look like to them. Never assume someone is imagining their future the same way you’re imagining yours, so ask the bigger questions!

You can’t expect someone to walk in and tick every single one of your boxes, if they tick 7/10 you’ve already found someone worth fighting for as long as you can let go of your ‘but I wanted someone who fitted this exact mould‘ kind of mentality. Unfortunately love doesn’t usually work alongside perfection, love is messy and confusing and it pushes us out of our comfort zone, but you know what is in our comfort zone? The list of what we think makes up the ‘prefect partner‘, so already we should know that our list isn’t going to work 100% and that’s ok.

The most important questions to ask yourself are these, how do you feel around them? Do they make you feel listened to and cared about? Do you feel like you can be yourself around them? Because if the answer to all of those questions is yes …. maybe you should show away your list with all of the silly tick boxes and maybe you should just cherish the fact that you’ve found someone who makes you happy?

There are a few things that make sense to look for in a partner, for example, if you’re super family orientated and want someone who’s the same way, thats something which makes sense.

If you want to be with someone who has the same passion and ambition that you do (for whatever it is they care about) cool, thats a basic requirement too.

But when we get down to things like, age, location, job titles, family set up, etc etc, we’re stating to include things that don’t necessarily make someone into the person that they are. Which, if we’re looking for our forever person, should be what we’re focusing on. You should want to know the core details of what drives them and how they see their future and be willing to take less notice of the smaller things that they don’t even have control over.

So that list you’ve created for what makes up your ‘perfect‘ partner, yeah throw that away and focus on making yourself as perfect as you think you can be, because if you’re brining greatness to the table then you can expect the same level back.

Life isn’t just about getting to that final destination, it’s also about the journey and sometimes our route never actually looks how we expected it too, but thats what makes it more beautiful.

Chat

Date Someone Who’s Sure Of You

gif couple movie Celebs radarplz x PS I love you permeate •

Date someone who pursues you endlessly and chooses to be with you every day.

Date someone who doesn’t take romance lightly and finds ways to brighten up your day, who takes the initiative to plan and take you out on dates. Date someone who treats you with utmost sincerity and respect, who showers you with sweet surprises and gestures to show you that you’re on their mind and I don’t mean an endless amount of expensive gifts, I mean small things that have made you think of them, it could be your favourite chocolate.

Date someone who has clear relationship goals and is honest with you from the very beginning, someone who’s transparent about their intentions and doesn’t string you along, someone who makes it blatantly clear that you’re the only one for them, who never plays mind games and gives you mixed signals. Date someone who isn’t afraid of commitment and wants to love you wholeheartedly, who wants grow into a relationship with you that will last the duration of your lifetimes.

Date someone whom you’re not afraid to show your vulnerability and flaws to, someone who accepts and loves you for who you are and never judges you, who appreciates your strength and is there to celebrate every accomplishment with you. Date someone who is there for you through every obstacle and quietly supports you in all that you do, even when you aren’t sure what direction you’re heading in.

Date someone who you connect with body and soul, you don’t just want physical attraction you want a mental connection too, because looks fade but your personality always be there. Date someone who you can see being your best friend, your partner in crime, and your biggest fan, someone who shares common values and vision of the future with you, who gets just as excited as you do when you talk about buying dogs and having children. Date someone who you’re excited to fall deeper in love with each day.

Date someone who makes the small moments count, because really, they’re everything, life is full of smaller moments that we have the opportunity to turn into big memorable ones. Date someone who loves unrestrainedly and gives you the best they have without you feeling like you own them anything.

Date someone who opens your heart and makes you believe in love even at the lowest point of your life, who makes your feelings feel validated and uses their actions to prove that they’re in it for the long haul. You should be with someone will trust you wholeheartedly without making you feel like you have to work for it.

Date someone who continues to stay by your side and reassures you that you have nothing to fear, even when you retreat into your shell because you’re terrified of getting hurt. Find someone who pulls you closer and loves you harder when life becomes stormy and dark and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel because your mind is feeling messy and confused.

Date someone who never once makes you feel like a burden or that you’re difficult to be with, someone who never gets impatient and suggests that you’re acting crazy, someone who doesn’t blow hot and cold and triggers your insecurity further. You want someone who is as happy to be with you as you are to be with them.

Date someone who loves you the way you deserve and wants to spend the rest of their lives continuing to do so.

Chat

When and how to have ‘the chat’

So here you are, suddenly enraged by the thought of the person you’ve been dating (for however long) seeing someone else … so how are you going to approach the ‘I don’t want you to see anyone else’ chat before someone’s feelings get hurt?

I’ll always stick to the opinion of communication being the make or break factor in a relationship, but yet when it comes to brining up conversation topics that have the potential to hurt us, we try and avoid them at all costs.

If you’re the one bringing up the conversation, and you ask the person you’re seeing if they’re still dating/sleeping with other people. Do you think you have the right to be hurt by the the answer (if it’s a yes) if you haven’t had ‘the chat’ with them before this point?

Difficult one to answer right?

Like surely you can’t just assume that there is some unspoken agreement between you guys when you’re in an early stage of your relationship?

So maybe do it slightly differently, maybe instead of asking them if they’re currently entangled (dating or shagging) with anyone else, you should simply state what you want, whether that’s to stay casual or get serious.

You want to be exclusive? Ok cool tell them … of course they could say they’re not on the same page, but is it not better to know that rather than going along with someone assuming they’re all in with you when actually they’re only all in with you when you’re in front of them?

What happens if your friends come across their online dating profiles and you guys haven’t had ‘the chat’ yet, do you really think you can be annoyed that they still have them if you haven’t been upfront with what you find acceptable or unacceptable?

So ‘when’ should the chat happen?

Well this isn’t a single answer question. Maybe don’t proposition them after your first date, but if you guys have spent two consecutive weeks together after date one, maybe having a ‘what are we’ conversation is ok to happen earlier on.

Basically, I can’t give an opinion on this because every relationship is different and not one has a single set of rules.

But if you’re really stuck on ways to approach the subject and you’re feeling a bit vulnerable, here’s some ways you could initiate the conversation.

1. We’ve been seeing each other for a while and I just want to make sure we’re on the same page in terms of exclusivity.

2. I’m a bit nervous in bringing this up, but I wanted to ask if you’re still seeing other people, I just want to make sure I know where I stand.

3. I want to make sure that we’re clear with what’s happening here, because I’m not seeing anyone else and I want to make sure you’re ok the same page as me to avoid any issues in the near future.

4. Hey I wanted to ask, because my friend came across you on a dating app, are you still seeing other people? I want to make sure we’re being as honest as we can be about what we want.

5. I want you to know that I’m not seeing anyone else, but I wanted to find out where your head was at and if you’re in the same position.

Good luck!

Chat

I hope she’s done

I hope she’s done going above and beyond and getting left behind.

I hope she’s done finding men who are secretly broken and need her to fix them who then drain her of her energy and walk away with her heart.

I hope she’s done getting broken promises from men who claim to be honest and loyal but walk away as anything but.

I hope she’s done getting told ‘I’m your soulmate, you’re beautiful, and that you’re so important to me’, and then being left broken and crying watching the guy she was in love with carry on with someone else.

I hope she’s done feeling broken just because you couldn’t keep to your word and be there for her like she was there for you.

I hope she’s done trying to overanalyse why she wasn’t enough for you.

I hope she’s done feeling betrayed and broken when she gave so much of herself to someone who didn’t deserve it.

I hope she’s done allowing herself to be your shoulder to lean on only for you to walk away and not be there for her.

I hope she’s done trying to make excuses for you while you were so unbelievably inconsiderate and uncompassionate.

I hope she’s done trying to be loyal and loving to you when you took her trust and dismantled it.

Everyone has the right to choose who they want to spend their time with and invest in. This isn’t an Alanis Morisette song and she’s not some fatal attraction psycho. She showed respect and when she walked away, she spent months working on herself and crying alone, only to come out stronger, but she wouldn’t spend a second trying to pretend like it didn’t hurt because it fucking did.

She loved you, she was deeply attracted to you in every way, and she thought of you as her best friend. You were her first thought in the morning and her last thought at night. She thought of ways to look great for you and she loved your hands all over her. She was a fierce protector of your dreams and was genuinely interested in everything you had to say. She found you to be intelligent, rugged, sexy, kind and handsome. She raved about you to all of her friends. She invested in you, and would have walked across glass to be with you.

But here’s the thing, at the end of the day, she’s human, she’s sad, she’s hurt, and she’s angry, but she had also been your biggest supporter from afar, and I hope one day you will see that. But she deserves better.

I hope she’s done.

Chat

Break Up Levels

When a break up happens, inevitably one person is going to be the one that gets dumped and the other one is going to be the heartbreaker.

But when this happens, the two people involved will be starting at two opposite ends of the break up scale, and here’s how it works.

Level 1 vs level 10

While a break up may heart wrenching and make your stomach hurt, take some solace in knowing that if you’re the one who’s been dumped, you’ve started at level 10 (which is the worst by the way) … this is the top end of the break up scale, where you can’t sleep or eat, you don’t know what you’ll do without them in your life and you feel as though the world as you know it is falling out from under your feet.

The person who’s broken up with you however, they’ve started at level 1 … they feel pretty relieved, in their head they had probably already ended things with you a few weeks before they actually had the guts to do it in real life. So right now, they’re just happy its all over and done with and they can carry on their life without you, the one they think they want, but realistically there’s no progress for them to make in this situation, there’s nothing they have to deal with because it wasn’t a shock for them, they knew what they were going to do. So starting at level 1, maybe not as great as we think it may be!

Level 3 vs level 8

Now lets fast forward a few months, your level 10 has now dropped to a level 8. You still miss them like crazy, but after lots of free therapy sessions with your friends, you’re starting to feel a lot better than how you were when you initially got the news, you can see that you can still have a life without them and it won’t be as awful as you think.

Our level 1 people, well they’re now at level 3. They’re still doing all the things they wanted to do, going out and being selfish with their own time and they’re enjoying it. But every now and then, something will happen in their every day life and they wish they could tell you about it, but of course …. that privilege is gone for them now. They don’t have the person there who used to take a keen interest in their work, or smile at the dog pictures they used to send, but it’s fine and they’re not too bothered by it, they know they’ll find someone else to do all that stuff with soon anyway so it’s not a big deal.

And here’s where it starts to get interesting, because ever so slowly, the two of you are coming towards being at the same level of getting over your break up but you’ve come from different ends of the scale, as the one who started out heartbroken and devastated is now healing and moving forward …. the one who done the heartbreaking is now starting to realise what they’ve given up on.

Meeting in the middle at level 5

At around the five months later mark, our level 8 people have probably now dropped to level 5. You’re making future plans and when you’ve been making them you haven’t even considered your previous SO in the picture, you haven’t been doing a ‘well what if‘ kind of plan that might involve them, nope. You’re focusing on you and you’re thriving as if a glow was going out of fashion.

At the same time, our people who were at level 3, are also now at level 5 too. They’ve been on a few dates and each one without even wanting to, they’ve been comparing them to you. They’re keeping active tabs on the person they thought they were ‘so done‘ with. They want to know what’s happing in your life, they can see that you’re doing good and you look happy, they’ve heard about all your exciting plans and they’re gutted they don’t have a more active role. They miss you …. but now they don’t know if they want to try and make a come back.

You see how although you’re both at the same level, because you’ve got there via two very different routes, it just isn’t the same situation for both of you!

Level 5 is the pin point, because if the person who broke your heart does decide to reach out, PLEASE make sure they don’t push you all the way back to level 10 again …. because if you hit level 10, it means they’ll go back to level 1, they know you’re still there and that satisfies their ego …. unless of course they really are sorry, but if they are, then they need to work HARD to get you back!

Chat

You know both of you can feel that sexual tension, right?

Damn, there it is. That weird feeling in the room, you’re both in, you know she can feel it too, right? It’s not just you. You guys both feel it but yet neither of you are going to say a word.

You guys should ignore it, right? But wait, apparently there’s something fun about doing things when you know you shouldn’t and it becomes even more fun when the only people who know what’s going on are the two of you.

She knows you feel it too, because she saw the way you look at her still, did you think you could slyly check her out and she wouldn’t pick up on it? Don’t be silly, she knows you too well not to notice. And now the two of you keep making eye contact, creating tension in the air that’s almost palpable. She even saw the very brief way your eyes wondered down to her lips, it must be annoying to know she noticed something you probably didn’t even realise you’d done, but you know what it means when you look at someones lips right? It just means subconsciously you’re thinking about kissing them …. uh oh.

You know you shouldn’t look at her like that, especially if you’re not going to take control and do something about it, you should just stop it. All the eye contact going on is a slow killer and you know it’s working up the both of you. As soon as you locked eyes with her it threw you back to thinking about how she looked at you when she wanted your body close to her. A little eye contact can start a very dangerous game, but yet it seems you’re both excited to play.

When there are thousand words left unsaid in a room where the tension keeps growing, how much longer can it go on before the room explodes and one of you caves? It’s a game of willpower now, but you’re both stubborn so will it be left as a draw? Surely that’s too boring? … Everything deserves a climax, right?

This could be fine, things can be left without a resolution, just remember social distancing. As long as the two of you remain at least 1.5m apart from each other at all times it will be totally fine.

Because let’s face it, as soon as you step closer to each other that’s when the test will level up, as if the eye contact and smiles weren’t bad enough, just wait until you’re accidentally stood close enough to feel the heat coming off of each other’s bodies, or the way her perfume smells, that’s the smell you got used to having on your bedsheets, but it’s been absent for a while, so what’s going to happen, what if you remember you’ve missed it?

Is it even worth the risk to find out? Probably not, right?

It’s worth knowing though, this isn’t just in your head, you aren’t imagining this feeling because she feels it too, she can sense the way you want her just from the atmosphere that ever so slightly changes each time you guys look at each other. If only everyone else in the room knew what the two of you were actually thinking …. it would make a good explicit novel that’s for sure.

Why not take it one step further next time, stand closer to her, or maybe risk one more civilised kiss on the cheek to have her face close to yours again even just for a second, or are you worried you’ll want to keep her there for longer than a split second if you do it again? Risky game, right?

But what’s life without a bit of risk, well it’s just boring.

Chat

Communicate With The Person You Love and care about

When you love someone, you need to learn how to communicate with them properly, that’s just facts. But you also need to learn to understand that how you communicate may be different to how they communicate.

You could be on the exact same page as your person but assume they feel differently than you do. You could be reading them completely wrong. You could be creating drama where none exists. You could be freaking out over a misunderstanding. However, if you had a simple conversation, then everything could be cleared up in a heartbeat, but in todays bat s**t crazy dating world, communication scares the crap out of us, which is kind of sad.

The honest truth is, When you love or care about someone, you should feel comfortable talking to about anything, even if it means it’s going to make you feel vulnerable.

You shouldn’t feel the need to tiptoe around them to avoid setting them off or because you’re scared that speaking up about how you feel is going to push them away. You should be confident that you can have a conversation with them about any topic, regardless of how intimate or awkward, and ultimately you guys will come out as an even stronger team. You have to trust your partner to treat your feelings, your thoughts, and your opinions with a certain level of respect. You have to believe they have your best interest at heart. And yes I know that sounds scary!

When you love someone, you need to remember that the way they express themselves might not mimic the way your exes or your family members express themselves.

Your partner is their own, individual person. You need to figure out how they prefer to discuss their emotions because some people are more vocal and others are more subtle, some are more open and others are more guarded. You need to figure out what works for the two of you as a couple, and that can take some time, at the start you might get things wrong but we need time to learn about the other person.

When you love someone, you don’t hold back anything, even when it’s scary and your putting your heart on the line.

You don’t keep secrets from them. You don’t leave out certain details because it’s easier than getting into a complex, complicated issue. You are completely transparent with them. You can’t pick and choose when to be honest to make scenarios suit you, if you’re in the right relationship you’ll feel like you can tell them anything and everything no matter what it is. You swear to remain honest, even when it could cause a ripple in your relationship, but you know you’re a team and will tackle issues together. You should value your partner too much to manipulate them, to fool them and twist situations to make sure you never have to tell them something you know they may not like. You would rather be real with them and work through whatever issues might arise.

When you love someone, you check in with them regularly.

You make sure nothing has gone wrong without you realising. You make sure they’re still feeling appreciated, loved, and confident about where your love story is heading. Instead of assuming everything is fine, you actually ask your partner where their head is at, and if something has been wrong, you take steps to fix it. You don’t talk without taking action. You follow through on what you say, make sure conversations never fall on deaf ears because that could cause as much damage as not talking. Actions always speak louder than words.

When you love someone, you don’t distance yourself from them emotionally. You don’t put up a wall, shutting them out. You don’t allow your fears from past experiences cloud your current relationship, even when you can feel yourself getting more emotionally vulnerable you speak up and tell them where you’re at and how you feel, even if you’re feeling scared.

You let them see every side of yourself, even the parts you like the least, the parts you try to hide from everyone else, because you know they aren’t going anywhere and they sure as hell won’t judge you or try and change you. You know you can trust them to stay even when you guys are facing tough times together, you know they aren’t going anywhere. You know being open and honest with them is only going to push you closer together, not wrench you further apart.

And that is why you should learn to communicate with the person you love or care about.

Chat

The good the bad and the beautiful parts of dating a writer

As much as it sucks to admit, a writer either loves deeply or not at all. Writers are romantic, love is something writers usually write a lot about whether they’ve had a good or bad experience with it. But if you’ve dated them, don’t for a second thing you haven’t inspired something they’ve written.

But this is why you should give your heart to a writer, there will never be a shortage of words which they’ll use to express their love and devotion to you. And for a while (or maybe forever if you’re lucky) you’ll be their inspiration. They’ll play out the story of the two of you in so many ways you didn’t even realise were possible.

They’ll obsess over your details, taking in every inch of how you are and the way you do things, from the shape of your lips, the colour of your eyes and I mean the real colour, the way your hair feels when they run their fingers through it, and how it sits when you’ve just got out the shower. They’ll notice the way you carry yourself in public, how you walk and even your complexion and how it changes when you get embarrassed.

They’ll notice every mannerism you have, and because of this they will be able to notice in explicit details when you’re happy, sad, angry or any time your mood slightly changes. You’ll be the inspiration for them to create stories that other people spend time reading about. Know that writers feel everything so deeply (sometimes too deeply). And, because of this, they’ll love you just as deeply, and sometimes this may come off strong but it’s just how they work.

A writer will fully commit to you even before you’ve asked them to. As picky as they are with their words, they’re also very picky with the people they choose to love. And when they find someone special, they’ll give every piece of themselves that they physically can. They’ll invest themselves in you and will continue to do so for the rest of their lives, or as long as you let them. They won’t hold back from giving you everything you need to make yourself as good as you can be.

A writer is a dreamer and will take you to places you’ve never been to, both physically and figuratively. They’re explorers and always looking for new experiences. They will sweep you off your feet and bring you into their fantasy world, to a place only a few have ever been allowed into. They will generate ideas and create scenarios that sometimes creep into their real life and leads to them being slightly over analytical when it comes to the person they care about.

A writer is passionate. They yearn for more out of life, and they love life in a way others don’t. They see life in a way others can’t. They experience life in a way others can’t, they use passion to fuel their writing and their life. The same way they are passionate about their life and work, the same way they will be passionate about you. They’ll offer you an intense level of passion, with them you’ll have found yourself with an unforgettable lover, someone who you will always say you have insane sexual chemistry with.

They’ll crave physical touch and they are happiest when laying next to you running their hands across your bare skin, taking in every inch of you, the way your muscles move and the shape of your back as you sleep, each freckle, scar and stunning imperfection that make you, you. And they’ll love every bit of it because it’s just more to take in.

A writer is full of emotions and any emotion they feel is felt at such a high intensity it sometimes makes them question their own judgement. They work with feelings, and they’ll be understanding of yours, always. You’ll never have to hide your emotions because they’ll know what you’re feeling even when you don’t utter a single word. They’ll be there for you when you’re feeling sad or down or even unable to process exactly what your emotions even mean. This is why you should give your heart to a writer because the ugly parts of you won’t make them love you any less, if anything, they’ll love you even more.

You should give your heart to a writer because there will always be more than what meets the eye with them, you’ll meet them and think they’re kind, but that will only be the top layer. You’ll soon come to realise they’re well-educated, empathetic and well-spoken. They’re observant and have a deep mind. They’re kind-hearted and will never judge you for feeling the way you do or expressing it in ways that aren’t conventional. They are rare.

You should give your heart to a writer because they’ll help you see how amazing you are. They’ll tell you every detail you want to know about yourself and will help you understand where you’ve gone wrong. You’ll soon be forced to realise things about yourself that you didn’t even pick up on. But they’ll make you realize that your flaws don’t even matter because they can look past them and see the real you. They want to make you love yourself even more.

You should give your heart to a writer if you want an oddly beautiful, passionate person in your life, who maybe feels things a little too much and who maybe loves a little too hard. But when they fall for you they won’t hold back. You’ll never have to question where you stand or if they want you.

Give your heart to a writer if you’re ready for love and I mean true love, something you’ll always look at with a sort of longing if you ever let it go.