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Advice from those before you

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She wants you to be successful, she wants you to get her to fall in love.

Yep, there’s that big L word, love …. she’s almost forgotten what that feels like, how it feels to be crazy about someone. To want to be around one person constantly. How is she supposed to tell you how to make it work?

Maybe if you took a note from those who came before you, you’d understand why she keeps running off in the opposite direction whenever she thinks you’re getting too close.

To understand her, maybe advice from the people before you would be just what you need?


Advice number 1: She’s a control freak.

She needs to fall for you on her own terms in her own way. She has to lead, that’s really important, or at least at the start. Until she’s comfortable with you, you need to understand that she just assumes you’re going to build the foundations of a potential relationship wrong. So she wants to create the base.

Oh and most importantly, don’t be too touchy feely, not at the start. Once she likes you and has handed over the reins she’ll want you all over her. But not until she’s decided she likes you.

You’ll be able to work out when it’s your turn to take over in the relationship she’s trying to build with you.

Advice number 2: Be confident.

You need to be confident enough around her to tell her how you feel, she doesn’t like liars or confusing messages.

Once you know she likes you, you need to do everything you can to keep her. It might take her a while to actually make her mind up about you, but once she does, you’ll be with the most loyal person you’ve ever met.

But seriously, do not lie to her because once you’ve burnt all your bridges, she will be able to act like she doesn’t even know who you are anymore.

Advice number 3: You need to understand that you’ll never understand her.

That weird twisted dark sense of humour is clearly a defence mechanism, if you manage to break down her walls to find out what/who broke her heart then you’re amongst a very small number of people.

Once you’ve got her interested in you, don’t play games anymore. the Game playing phase is over once she likes you. But remember, don’t go too fast or expect things to happen as quick as you’d like. This is how you’ll accidentally push her away.

Oh and Remember you can make her feel beautiful without objectifying her.

Advice number 4: Give her time and space.

She’s weirdly complicated, she wants you to want her but not too much otherwise she’ll get scared off.

In a way, she needs to chase you to begin with, if you’re constantly there willing to give her undivided attention straight away she won’t like it. It will be too much too quick.

Everything with her is ANYTHING but quick, you need to be willing to slow things down, and then slow it down again.

But if you’re lucky enough to get her to love you, make sure you’re all in it with her. She’ll never admit it, but it’s easy to break her heart once she’s in love.

Advice number 5: Just let her be crazy.

She will keep you on your toes. So make sure you’ve got good balance.

When she gets in one of her crazy moods, just wait it out, because even she wont know if she wants you to be a million miles away from her, or hold her so tight she can’t breath when she’s mad at you.

Advice number 6: Remember to reassure her

She has this weird obsession with fulfilling other peoples expectations of her, so make sure you reassure her she’s doing great. She likes hearing nice things from the person she’s dating.

Funny thing is, she’s always so determined to improve herself and everything around her sometimes she can forget to enjoy the moment she’s in, so if you can, get her to enjoy everything around her more.


But maybe there’s a reason why none of the ones before you managed to get it to work, maybe they figured her out in part but not fully. So perhaps you’ll be the one who totally gets it right?

Maybe the journey you’re going to go on with her will be the final one she takes, the last time she has to go through being chased and then chasing after someone.

Just remember, she wants you to get her, she just doesn’t know how to tell you to do how to it.

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22 Of The Sexiest Things Men Can say (according to women)

These may seem like such little things to you guys, but when we hear them …. they actually make us melt.

1. “Come here”

2. “Good girl” (With a certain look in his eye)

3. Anything he asks to do where my response can be “make me” – changes the tone of any conversation almost immediately

4. “I love the way you taste”

5. “I can tell you want me”

6. Using your actual name when they talk to you – there’s something so simple and so sexy about that

7. “Look at me” – in any kind of sexual situation

8. “I’ve been thinking about you all day”

9. “I can’t control myself around you” – knowing this made me feel like I had a lot of power

10. “Open your mouth” – not always in an inappropriate situation, but it sure changes the tone

11. “You’re mine, don’t forget that”

12. “Nobody understands your body like I do”

13. “I just want to feel you” – we both knew what that meant.

14. “Have you been good or bad” – either way, what happened after this was always fun

15. “Is there something wrong” (after he’d spent half an hour trying to turn me on in public)

16. “I want to be inside you”

17. “Shhhh” – when I’ve been making too much noise in bed.

18. “I need to see you” – it’s the word “need” that makes this so sexy

19. “Thinking about you is keeping me awake” – knowing he was in bed and turned on thinking about me made me want him like crazy

20. “Don’t cum” – That one ask made it 10x harder!

21. “You’re asking for trouble”

22. “I want you to know how beautiful you are”

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What We’ve Learnt From Previous Relationships

Looking back at past experiences where love was once involved can sometimes be quite daunting. It can be scary thinking about the past and how it’s lead you to where you are now.

I’ve seen a countless number of my friends go through break ups that have had them crying their eyes out but ultimately ending up feeling stronger at the end of it. I’ve known the person who has walked away and I’ve also known the person who’s been walked away from and seeing it from both sides makes it easier to understand why people do what they do. One thing I have learnt is that no one ever breaks someone’s heart spur of the moment, normally it’s been lots of little events that have driven them to that defining point (either that or one of you has just been a total prick to the other person)

I’ve been in relationships where I feel unsure about whether or not I should stay or leave. I’ve had to ask myself if I should I stay just because I feel like it’s the right thing to do, or if I want to stay because I love them despite the fact I know they’re not treating me how they should.

We’ve all learnt things from our previous relationships and here’s a list of things people have told me they’ve learnt from their ex loves. Some things that may help others and some that they just wanted to get off their chest when it comes to talking about the shit part of a relationship… the end:

1. Even when you don’t want to walk away, you should always listen to your gut instinct … sometimes it’s telling you things your heart doesn’t want to hear.

2. A cheat is always a cheat, it doesn’t matter how much you believe they will change for you. They won’t.

3. Your friends will see their flaws way before you do. Sometimes you should try and see things from their point of view. Being blind sided by someone fucking sucks.

4. If they move on quicker than you after you break up, it isn’t something you should take personally, just shows their true colours.

5. Sometimes people want to be in a relationship so bad they will become an altered version of themselves to please you. But that charade won’t last forever!

6. Getting under someone to get over someone is perfectly acceptable! Never feel ashamed for wanting to experience other people.

7. Be with someone who’s also your best friend. They’ll never be the person who keeps you awake at night worrying about what their doing.

8. Attraction alone won’t keep two people together for very long. A relationship needs to be so much more than that.

9. Without having both trust and communication within a relationship you’ll never be able to grow together and if you can’t grow together, where’s your future?

10. Ultimately love must be ABSOLUTE trust. A relationship without trust is like a phone without signal, all you end up doing is playing games.

11. Trying to change the person you’re with is a pretty big red flag that you’re probably not with the right person in the first place.

12. Hustle together! If you’re both driven towards goals for a shared future, very few things will be able to shake that.

13. A mutual respect for each other as individual people is very important. You don’t need to be glued at the hip 24/7 to show you love each other.

14. Ultimately, if they’re going to cheat. Nothing you can do or say will stop them. You can check their phone if you want but it won’t prevent their actions.

15. Make sure you love yourself before you try and love anyone else. Sounds cheesy, but the more you care about others opinions the more it can effect your relationship.

16. You think you know love, but that heartache you get when they leave. That’s the love, sucks but it’s true.

17. Lust is NOT love. Infatuation is not long term and that fire will burn you at some point.

18. There is no right way to handle a break up. Do not let your friends or family make you feel bad about how you’re processing your own emotions. You wanna shag a dude …. you shag a dude!

19. Feeling lonely when they’re sat right beside you is far worse than actually being alone. If they make you feel like that, you’re better of by yourself.

20. Women talk. If you upset them their whole circle of friends will know. Be prepared to apologise to more than one female when you’re in a relationship.

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The ‘Maybe’ Guy

Maybe he’s busy?

Maybe he’s not ready for a girlfriend?

Maybe he’s just a bit stressed at the moment?

Maybe I just wasn’t pretty enough for him?

I think maybe he prefers blondes?

Maybe I was a bit much for him?

You know what … maybe he’s just a prick?

So he doesn’t want to commit and you’re happy to sit around waiting for him to change his mind? For goodness sake … no you’re not happy to do that!

Your mum didn’t spend 9 months growing you for you to waste your life, waiting around for someone who isn’t treating you like the total queen that you are.

He hasn’t messaged you all day, you think he’s busy? No, if he wanted to speak to you it doesn’t matter how busy he is, he will find a way. That’s how men are, they go after what they want and clearly if you’re not seeing any effort he doesn’t want you or not enough to actively do anything about it anyway. Stop checking in on a person who does not check. in on you, you’re wasting your time. Find someone that will appreciate your concern.

If the effort isn’t there then know your worth, someone else is out there waiting to treat you how you should be treated, so please stop wasting your time on this ‘maybe guy’.

We’ve all been there, we get totally obsessed with the wrong person, normally it’s the one who has no time for us unless we’re naked. You find yourself looking at your phone more and getting butterflies when you see his name pop up (because it hasn’t popped up for the last week despite you messaging him).

Sometimes we just have to learn when enough is enough, we have to figure out when to archive their chats and unsave their names in our phones. He hasn’t treated you right, but to someone else out there you’re everything they’ve ever wanted.

Go and find a hobby that helps you grown as a person, that gives you more to talk about and gets you meeting new people, instead of sitting looking at your phone, checking to see if he’s watched your story or opened your snapchat … there are bigger and better things in this world than him.

You are a bigger and better person than he is, so do this for you. Not him.

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Dating Etiquette

How much easier would life be if dating came with a rule book?

Sadly it doesn’t, but surely there’s a generalised set of rules we can all go off … right?

1. Try not to turn up drunk. But if you do have a glass of wine (or five) beforehand try to do your make up first … no one wants dodgy eyeliner!

2. Be available .. but not too available. Well what does that even mean? I’m not even sure, but if you’re too keen they’ll leave and if you’re too unavailable and they’ll also leave.

3. Don’t sleep with any of their friends. Yeah I know … apparently that isn’t the right thing to do, who knew?

4. On the first date explain why you wouldn’t make good girlfriend material, if it doesn’t put them off then there’s clearly something wrong with them, so you probably should avoid seeing them again.

5. If they seem really in to you, again there’s probably something wrong with them. Best way to combat this? Flirt with someone else in front of their face.

6. If they put minimum effort in to see you and only speak to you when they want to have sex … then they are most DEFINITELY into you. Never stop trying to talk to them. Triple text if you have to.

7. Go out with them for a nice dinner and accidentally drink so much that you’re sick on them. This is a fool proof tactic in the game of love.

8. Get their number from one of their friends rather than them, guys love knowing how keen you are to get hold of their personal details.

9. Break up with him but then get super jealous when he finds someone that actually wants to be with him. Make sure to stalk his new girlfriends social media for added effect.

10. Above all, always make sure he knows that he is not allowed to show any kind of public display of affection towards you, you wouldn’t want people knowing you’re together. Eurgh.

If you haven’t already gathered, I do not actually want you to follow most of the above advice it’s purely there as a joke highlight some of the crazy shit a lot of us girls do, but only when it’s actually written down do we realise how mental it really sounds.

Happy dating everyone ….

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He’s Not Your Forever Unless He Put’s Effort Into These 12 Things!

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1. He should make an effort to plan dates. He shouldn’t expect you to come up with ideas every weekend. Once in a while, he should take you to a new restaurant or shop that he thinks you’re going to love.

2. He should make an effort to text back. And he should remember to tell you where he is and what he’s doing. It’s the easiest way to build trust. If he’s always open with you, then there’s no reason to doubt what he says.

3. He should make an effort to flirt. I don’t care if you’ve been dating for decades. He should never take your love for granted. He should still try to woo you, even though he already has you.

4. He should make an effort to give you an orgasm. You don’t have to “reach your goal” every single time you have sex, but you should climax the majority of the time. That means there should be plenty of foreplay and oral.

5. He should make an effort to save his money. If he honestly wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then he has to prepare for the future. He should be resisting the urge to waste all his cash on alcohol and should be working alongside you to save up money for a house.

6. He should make an effort to make you feel like a major part of his life. He should update you on what’s going on at work. He should invite you out with his friends. He should make you feel important.

7. He should make an effort to get along with your friends and family members. He doesn’t have to go on one-on-one brunch dates with your mother, but he should treat everyone you care about with respect. Even if your disapproving father is a little rude to him, it doesn’t mean he should be rude back. He should be trying his best to make a good impression.

8. He should make an effort to come to compromises. If you two disagree on something, there shouldn’t be a big blowout that ends with only one of you getting your way. You should find a solution that benefits you both. Otherwise, the resentment is going to kick in.

9. He should make an effort to cook and clean. You’re not his mother. He shouldn’t rely on you to do all of his chores for him. He should be doing just as much housework as you.

10. He should make an effort to look good. He doesn’t have to wear a suit and tie during every date, just like you don’t have to wear a skintight dress. But he should at least look presentable. He should keep that beard trimmed and wear that underwear that he knows his butt looks amazing in.

11. He should make an effort to keep himself healthy. If he loves you, he’ll take care of himself, so that you two can have a long life together.

12. He should make an effort to make you happy. He should think your smile is the most beautiful thing in the world, and he should aim to see it as often as humanly possible. 

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My List Of Sorry’s .. Just For You 

Where do I begin ….

  1. I’m sorry I became less of myself, less of the girl you fell in love with.
  2. I’m sorry I didn’t manage to pull myself out of my downward spiral.
  3. I’m sorry I relied on you as my only source of happiness
  4. I’m sorry I drained you, I never meant to make you feel like that.
  5. I’m sorry you felt like you were responsible for making me happy .. I’ve realised it isn’t hard for me to do it myself
  6. I’m sorry I was selfish and I wanted you to myself all the time. That wasn’t fair of me.
  7. I’m sorry I didn’t let you grow as a person, but I already thought you were incredible.
  8. I’m sorry if I made you feel pressured, I never wanted you to feel that making sure you were making me happy was pressure on you.
  9. I’m sorry I ultimatly put myself before you most of the time because I thought you were fine and I wasn’t.
  10. I’m sorry our relationship turned into something I was so reliant on, I should have been able to be rely on myself.
  11. I’m sorry I couldn’t see what I was doing … Until now.
  12. I’m sorry if you felt like I was never happy, I just lost myself for a while.
  13. I’m sorry I forgot to be ambitious, all my focus was on us and I should have made more time for me so you could have had more time for you.
  14. I’m sorry I briefly lost sight of what truly mattered, us being happy together, but as two separate people.
  15. I’m sorry I was taking so much of your energy when you needed it yourself, I know it must have been exhausting.
  16. I’m sorry if you felt suffocated, I wanted you to feel like you can do what you wanted and still have me, but that isn’t something I could do.
  17. I’m sorry you lost yourself a little bit too because of me.
  18. I’m sorry I couldn’t have figured this out earlier and I had to have you push me away so I had time to think.
  19. I’m sorry I managed to become someone I never intended to be and I didn’t let myself take time to realise what was happening.
  20. But most of all, I’m sorry I’m still in love with you, but I’ll never be able to stop that.