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You’ll Either Be Forever Or Never 

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What if we’re scared to start because it might never end? Timing is everything and it is also the one thing that we don’t have on our side right now.

Our hearts can make us do the craziest of things, but here I am … already crazy for you, but this isn’t something I can sit and endure by myself forever.

Falling for your, is something truly terrifying and I’m sat here only just about to admit it to myself. I’m trying to disengage from my head because it’s telling me to do things that my heart won’t agree with. It’s like I’m being pulled by strings that you’re in control of … But you have no idea.

It’s funny how everyone around you sees things before you pick up on them for yourself, do you know how many people have told me that you’re in love with me? I’ve lost count myself.

Is it wrong that all I want is to feel your lips on my neck again, I can’t help but think of it when I’m with you, I want to be close to you but we both know it isn’t a good idea.

I won’t sit here and wait for you to make your mind up. I’m going to carry on as normal, like we have done all this time, taking about pointless things and pretending not to have chemistry, as you lay on my sofa with me or while we’re watching films together … While you tell me I’m your type of girl and that I have a perfect body and that I deserve more than what anyone else has ever given to me before … But I want you to be the person who gives me everything.

Hurry up … Before our opportunity slips away again and before another three years slips away.

How To Tell He Isn’t The One For You

 

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we have all had that moment, when we’re so wrapped up in a new romance that we fail to notice all the signs pointing to the fact that this won’t be forever, sometimes we need to take a step back and evaluate our relationship. You try and ignore all the flaws that your friends are pointing out because you’re trying so hard to pretend everything is perfect.

So what if he’s not Mr Right? How can you tell?

1. You Don’t Trust Him – Jealousy is healthy, but there are limits, you  should not constantly be wanting to check his social media for any potential competition, or inviting yourself on his boys nights out maybe there’s an issue, if you see him talking to other girls you should never jump to conclusions without talking about things first, look to see if anything warrants this distrust and if there is then this could be a big sign that things are not going to work out.

2. Always Trust Your Gut Instinct – If there’s something that isn’t sitting quite right with you, normally that little voice inside your head. Don’t jump into action to listen to this gut feeling straight away, but don’t ignore it either. Normally that back ground thought is there for a reason.

3. He Doesn’t Like Your Friends – As girls we are normally much more ourselves around our best friends than anyone else and if he doesn’t like you when your’e around your friends then I think this speaks for itself? He should like that you are involving him in plans you have with your friends because it means you want him involved in aspects outside of your alone time.

4. He Has A Forever Changing Attitude Towards You – If he seems a bit bipolar with you this is not good, if he loves you he should always love you, not swing from talking to you like you could be a total randomer to as if you’re the best thing to ever happen to him, the latter point should be how he talks to you constantly. If he jumps down your throat at uncalled for points then these kind of mood swings will never change and they will never be much fun for you to experience.

5. You Dread When He Drinks Around you – And by this I mean any amount of alcohol, because after one drink he turns into a total a**** hole that you would never normally give your time to on a night out, if he’s aggressive or rude that really isn’t something nice to be around and if he gets like this then i’m sure you’d be embarrassed to take him out with your friends as well.

6. He Won’t Listen To Issues You Bring Up – If you want to talk to him about things you aren’t happy with in your relationship you should never be worried to do so, you shouldn’t worry that talking about issues will push him away. He should be happy to talk to you about your relationship worries if it would help the both of you in the long run, if he does’t then the likelihood is he doesn’t have much respect for you or your relationship, every healthy relationship has its ups and downs, its how you get through them that will either make or break you as a couple.

7.  His Bad Habits Really Annoy You – Everyone has small habits that others won’t necessarily like, but if your’e starting to hate him because he bites his nails, maybe you should think if there are some other underlying issues that are making you back away.

8. He Doesn’t Want to Share Things With You – And i don’t mean food, I mean life experiences, he should want you at every big moment with him and you should want the same, but if he’s putting off introducing you to his family and not inviting you out to meet his friends, you should ask yourself why that is. He should want to show you off at every given opportunity not leave you at the sidelines for just when he wants some chill time.

Everyone is different in relationships, but if you can create a list in your head of why you shouldn’t be with someone then maybe that shouldn’t be ignored. Sometimes your friends can be the best people to go for advice because they can see things from an outsiders point of view, But the final evaluation of your relationship should always be down to you.

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The Art Of Conversation

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I know full well that I am bad at communicating how I feel, or at least I do now.
I had never been told this before, but now I have been told I notice it almost every day. When I choose to leave a room in silence instead of fill it with pointless conversation it makes me double think, maybe I do need to be able to constantly talk about anything and everything for people to be able to understand what I’m thinking.

I’ve just never felt the need to be like this, unless I’ve known someone for years and I am totally comfortable with them I don’t see the need to vocalise my every thought.
But yet, when other people stop talking I worry. I worry that I’ve done something wrong or that I’ve upset someone. I need other people to constantly talk to me to provide me with some kind of reassurance that I’m doing the right things and I haven’t upset them.
Surely this should be my wake up call to think that other people feel like this as well, maybe people around me constantly think they’ve upset me or are doing the wrong thing because I don’t feel the need to speak all the time.

I don’t want people to feel that way, but I have always felt that unless I have something to say I shouldn’t bother saying anything at all. I just don’t know what to do to fix it, how is it even possible to change a behaviour that you’ve been used to for your whole life. It seems to me almost impossible, but I’ll try. Because I want people around me to know how I feel without me just expecting them to read my mind.

Boy & Girl Friendships

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So here’s the thing, you’re very protective.

It’s flattering though, but he’s not going to appreciate it, having you being protective over his girlfriend because he’s protective as well.
I don’t want us to not be friends anymore, but we are going to have to set some new boundaries. Ones we haven’t had before, because since we have been close I haven’t had a boyfriend, you won’t be used to it. So it’s going to be up to me to set these boundaries in a way that is obvious enough for you to understand them.

When you were with your girlfriend you never really spoke about her and I saw you cheat on her … Twice actually. It shouldn’t have happened and we both know that.
But that’s not the type of mistake I’ll make, because I’m falling for him you see.
I know you’re going to make fun of the whole situation because you haven’t seen me fall for anyone yet … All you’ve seen is how I use people for what I want and then throw them away again.

You’ve created an opinion of me, which is sometimes not the best but yet for the last two years you’ve been head over heels for me (don’t try to pretend like that isn’t true)
I’ll never feel like that for you though, which is why I’m with him and not you.
But I need you in my life and I hope that doesn’t sound selfish. I hope you need me too, I want to think that we’re on this level now where we know each other too well to let each other go.

But we do need to re evaluate the way we talk, I don’t want my new boyfriend feeling uncomfortable about us, I want him to feel reassured and I don’t want him to have a reason to be worried.
So maybe stop the texts asking me for a cuddle late at night should be deemed as no longer being appropriate? I know it’s what you’re like and you’re messing around. But he doesn’t! And I don’t want to ruin things with him.

Can We Still Be Friends?

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It’s taken a good 13 months, a lot of back and forwards but while I’m here sitting in your kitchen after spending a lovely day with you I think we have finally both realised that we can now be friends.

I hope we are both on the same page.
When you apologised for accidentally brushing my hand with your own while we were walking along the road I think we both realised, I didn’t get butterflies from your touch this time and don’t get me wrong my head is swimming with ideas of what I think I want to do to you, but I won’t, because it wouldn’t be right not for either of us.
You bought me lunch, which was lovely and we have spent some moments talking about old times and how things used to be. But I think we can both see now what was, never will be again.
I still love you, a lot. But it’s in such a different way now.
I love being able to talk to you when I want and I will try not to get jealous when you give another girl more attention than what you give me, because that’s the natural response I’ll have after all, we were together for a long time.
I just want you to know that I’m very glad I still have you in my life.
I’m sorry that we took it in turns to hurt each other, we shouldn’t have done that, neither of us deserved it.

I just had this need to make you want me back again after all you had done and after that I felt bad, but I couldn’t help but want to get you back for everything and I just want you to know I’m sorry.

But I’m glad it all happened because now we can move on and be civil to each other and that’s all I want. I want you in my life, as my friend.

How Valid Is The Friend Code Still?

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The friend code – somewhat of an unwritten journal. Everyone knows the rules of the friend code, but they’re not actually written down anywhere. But when one of the friend code rules is broken by someone within a friendship group it’s almost as bad as murder. Not that I’m saying murder is an unwritten concept! It is very much illegal and definitely written down!
But in today’s society is the friend code still as valid? Does everyone follow the same rules? Because I’ve known quite a few ‘friends’ to screw each other over for the sake of something stupid.
So now I need work out if I could be breaking some unwritten rules if I pursue with what I want to do right now, at what point do I turn into an awful human being for going along with something I want to do.
One of my best friends has been friend zoned massively by some guy, but she likes him. Has liked him for a number of months in fact, but he’s always had a girlfriend since we have both known him until recently.
Now I haven’t been friend zoned by him and I’m attracted to him and we have a laugh, but I don’t want to feel like the biggest traitor in the world for seeing where these feelings could go!
There is no way in a million years I would want to hurt my friend and I don’t even know for 100% if he’s even interested in me!
If I knew for sure he was and I thought it could be going somewhere I would talk to her, but I feel like right now it’s too soon.
This is where the friend code fucks me over a bit, I love my friends to pieces and if one of them liked a guy I thought I had feelings for but he had friend zoned me I would tell them to go for it, but maybe this is just me!
I say we need to have the friend code written down and put as a law so there is no confusion and no one gets fucked over!

Wait, Who Invented The Friendship Barrier?

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How can anyone completely define when and why the boundary between friends and something more? Is it when you sleep together, or when it is clear to both of you that there is something more between you when you are alone? I think the majority of girls and guys have had an issue with falling for a friend, but when you both have the same group of friends and are always around each other is it really wise to go there?

I live in uni halls at the moment and although I live in a flat with 5 other girls I have made friends with a very lovely group of guys whose friendship means the world to me! I don’t know if it’s just me who feels like this but I always feel that getting relationship advice from your guy friends (from a girl’s point of view) always seems to be more helpful because they are never afraid of telling you what they really think even if it hurts your feelings. At uni I’m in a friendship group of about 8 people and it just so happens that me and one of the guys have slept  together 3 times now (only when I am drunk might I add) but it’s now become obvious that there might be more feelings on his side (oh dear!) having a drunk thing hasn’t affected our friendship in the slightest because we both know where we stand, but since he has now been trying to kiss me when alcohol has not been involved it has made me think maybe this is my fault for getting into bed with him in the first place! I love him to pieces as a friend but I would always worry that those personality traits I laugh at as a friend I would find horribly irritating as a girlfriend.

I have to admit, I am very glad to be going home for summer to be getting away from all the drama I have created this year (unintentionally) hopefully giving some space between me and some of the guys will mean feelings will fade and when I come back for my third year I will have no distractions! (I can only hope)