Looking back at past experiences where love was once involved can sometimes be quite daunting. It can be scary thinking about the past and how it’s lead you to where you are now.
I’ve seen a countless number of my friends go through break ups that have had them crying their eyes out but ultimately ending up feeling stronger at the end of it. I’ve known the person who has walked away and I’ve also known the person who’s been walked away from and seeing it from both sides makes it easier to understand why people do what they do. One thing I have learnt is that no one ever breaks someone’s heart spur of the moment, normally it’s been lots of little events that have driven them to that defining point (either that or one of you has just been a total prick to the other person)
I’ve been in relationships where I feel unsure about whether or not I should stay or leave. I’ve had to ask myself if I should I stay just because I feel like it’s the right thing to do, or if I want to stay because I love them despite the fact I know they’re not treating me how they should.
We’ve all learnt things from our previous relationships and here’s a list of things people have told me they’ve learnt from their ex loves. Some things that may help others and some that they just wanted to get off their chest when it comes to talking about the shit part of a relationship… the end:
1. Even when you don’t want to walk away, you should always listen to your gut instinct … sometimes it’s telling you things your heart doesn’t want to hear.
2. A cheat is always a cheat, it doesn’t matter how much you believe they will change for you. They won’t.
3. Your friends will see their flaws way before you do. Sometimes you should try and see things from their point of view. Being blind sided by someone fucking sucks.
4. If they move on quicker than you after you break up, it isn’t something you should take personally, just shows their true colours.
5. Sometimes people want to be in a relationship so bad they will become an altered version of themselves to please you. But that charade won’t last forever!
6. Getting under someone to get over someone is perfectly acceptable! Never feel ashamed for wanting to experience other people.
7. Be with someone who’s also your best friend. They’ll never be the person who keeps you awake at night worrying about what their doing.
8. Attraction alone won’t keep two people together for very long. A relationship needs to be so much more than that.
9. Without having both trust and communication within a relationship you’ll never be able to grow together and if you can’t grow together, where’s your future?
10. Ultimately love must be ABSOLUTE trust. A relationship without trust is like a phone without signal, all you end up doing is playing games.
11. Trying to change the person you’re with is a pretty big red flag that you’re probably not with the right person in the first place.
12. Hustle together! If you’re both driven towards goals for a shared future, very few things will be able to shake that.
13. A mutual respect for each other as individual people is very important. You don’t need to be glued at the hip 24/7 to show you love each other.
14. Ultimately, if they’re going to cheat. Nothing you can do or say will stop them. You can check their phone if you want but it won’t prevent their actions.
15. Make sure you love yourself before you try and love anyone else. Sounds cheesy, but the more you care about others opinions the more it can effect your relationship.
16. You think you know love, but that heartache you get when they leave. That’s the love, sucks but it’s true.
17. Lust is NOT love. Infatuation is not long term and that fire will burn you at some point.
18. There is no right way to handle a break up. Do not let your friends or family make you feel bad about how you’re processing your own emotions. You wanna shag a dude …. you shag a dude!
19. Feeling lonely when they’re sat right beside you is far worse than actually being alone. If they make you feel like that, you’re better of by yourself.
20. Women talk. If you upset them their whole circle of friends will know. Be prepared to apologise to more than one female when you’re in a relationship.