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You know both of you can feel that sexual tension, right?

Damn, there it is. That weird feeling in the room, you’re both in, you know she can feel it too, right? It’s not just you. You guys both feel it but yet neither of you are going to say a word.

You guys should ignore it, right? But wait, apparently there’s something fun about doing things when you know you shouldn’t and it becomes even more fun when the only people who know what’s going on are the two of you.

She knows you feel it too, because she saw the way you look at her still, did you think you could slyly check her out and she wouldn’t pick up on it? Don’t be silly, she knows you too well not to notice. And now the two of you keep making eye contact, creating tension in the air that’s almost palpable. She even saw the very brief way your eyes wondered down to her lips, it must be annoying to know she noticed something you probably didn’t even realise you’d done, but you know what it means when you look at someones lips right? It just means subconsciously you’re thinking about kissing them …. uh oh.

You know you shouldn’t look at her like that, especially if you’re not going to take control and do something about it, you should just stop it. All the eye contact going on is a slow killer and you know it’s working up the both of you. As soon as you locked eyes with her it threw you back to thinking about how she looked at you when she wanted your body close to her. A little eye contact can start a very dangerous game, but yet it seems you’re both excited to play.

When there are thousand words left unsaid in a room where the tension keeps growing, how much longer can it go on before the room explodes and one of you caves? It’s a game of willpower now, but you’re both stubborn so will it be left as a draw? Surely that’s too boring? … Everything deserves a climax, right?

This could be fine, things can be left without a resolution, just remember social distancing. As long as the two of you remain at least 1.5m apart from each other at all times it will be totally fine.

Because let’s face it, as soon as you step closer to each other that’s when the test will level up, as if the eye contact and smiles weren’t bad enough, just wait until you’re accidentally stood close enough to feel the heat coming off of each other’s bodies, or the way her perfume smells, that’s the smell you got used to having on your bedsheets, but it’s been absent for a while, so what’s going to happen, what if you remember you’ve missed it?

Is it even worth the risk to find out? Probably not, right?

It’s worth knowing though, this isn’t just in your head, you aren’t imagining this feeling because she feels it too, she can sense the way you want her just from the atmosphere that ever so slightly changes each time you guys look at each other. If only everyone else in the room knew what the two of you were actually thinking …. it would make a good explicit novel that’s for sure.

Why not take it one step further next time, stand closer to her, or maybe risk one more civilised kiss on the cheek to have her face close to yours again even just for a second, or are you worried you’ll want to keep her there for longer than a split second if you do it again? Risky game, right?

But what’s life without a bit of risk, well it’s just boring.

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I asked men and women for their biggest turn on’s and here are the results…..

  1. I like watching a guy get hard. Like watching them going from soft to erect is just magnificent. You never know what the end result will be, is he a grower, shower, curved? And knowing that you’re the reason … BEST FEELING!
  2. A man wearing a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Forearms are so sexy especially when they have very prominent veins!
  3. Men who aren’t afraid to make noise during sex! Come on, men! Moan! Grunt! Whatever! Let me know you’re enjoying it!
  4. Giving blowjobs. I like watching men come undone. Makes me feel powerful, I mean I already know I’m good at them, but I’ll never get bored of hearing those approving sounds.
  5. I have this problem when anyone even JOKINGLY calls me a “good girl” that I get immediately turned on. Especially if you have an Australian accent. Say it again …. seriously.
  6. Holy fucking shit do I have such a thing for suits. Like I don’t want to undress you I just want to admire how attractive a man looks in that. Suits are just so nice and elegant.
  7. Passion. I don’t see a lot of people talking about it, but something about passionate sex and making the girl enjoy it and feel satisfied just gives me chills man.
  8. I can’t get enough of black stockings. Not sure why, but it is always guaranteed to drive me wild, lift that skirt up girl and hop on my lap.
  9. Girls running their fingers through their hair and then tucking it back behind their ears or pushing it over to one side of their face.
  10. People smiling for real. Like after hearing a compliment or good news a full on smile that lights up their whole face.
  11. Necks, it’s weird but sometimes necks really turn me on and I don’t know why, I love having mine touched, kissed, stroked whatever, but I’ll also go straight in for someone else’s too.
  12. Premature ejaculation… it’s annoying because guys spend so much time trying to make sure that doesn’t happen. It’s very rare and actually I take it as a compliment so you do you boo.
  13. Thigh-high socks or boots. Yes, please.
  14. When a woman makes the first move. It makes me feel wanted, and it feels wonderful.
  15. Yoga pants and sports bras …. no explanation needed.
  16. Getting a naughty text from my SO in the middle of the day, drives me CRAZY and I’ll be very excited about getting home.
  17. Girls who are genuinely having fun without caring about what other people think/say about them. Want to get on the dance floor and cut loose in a room full of strangers? Fuck it, let’s go!
  18. When a lady tried to talk about something dirty, gets embarrassed, and giggles.
  19. Women wearing business suits. Put your hands on your hips and tell me how disappointed you are with me.
  20. Girls that wear ponytails, all I can picture is just pulling on it from behind.
  21. When a guy tells me what to do, god that kind of dominant shit does stuff to me!
  22. Girls who wear choker necklaces. No idea what it is about them but they’re a huge turn on for me.
  23. Accents, especially British or Scottish accents, but accents in general. Dirty talk sounds more exciting and normal conversations feel exotic.
  24. Girls with their hair covering one eye.
  25. When women wear a sundress, YES. All I can focus on is how good their bum looks.
  26. Girls in oversized shirts/hoodies, especially when it’s one of yours that you’ve given them.
  27. Freckles …. honestly hot as fuck!
  28. When guys wear grey sweat pants …. I really don’t think I need to explain why.
  29. Having my throat grabbed, YES PLEASE. Choke me as hard as you want, don’t be scared.
  30. When my boyfriend grabs my bum in public it drives me totally WILD.
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Communicate With The Person You Love and care about

When you love someone, you need to learn how to communicate with them properly, that’s just facts. But you also need to learn to understand that how you communicate may be different to how they communicate.

You could be on the exact same page as your person but assume they feel differently than you do. You could be reading them completely wrong. You could be creating drama where none exists. You could be freaking out over a misunderstanding. However, if you had a simple conversation, then everything could be cleared up in a heartbeat, but in todays bat s**t crazy dating world, communication scares the crap out of us, which is kind of sad.

The honest truth is, When you love or care about someone, you should feel comfortable talking to about anything, even if it means it’s going to make you feel vulnerable.

You shouldn’t feel the need to tiptoe around them to avoid setting them off or because you’re scared that speaking up about how you feel is going to push them away. You should be confident that you can have a conversation with them about any topic, regardless of how intimate or awkward, and ultimately you guys will come out as an even stronger team. You have to trust your partner to treat your feelings, your thoughts, and your opinions with a certain level of respect. You have to believe they have your best interest at heart. And yes I know that sounds scary!

When you love someone, you need to remember that the way they express themselves might not mimic the way your exes or your family members express themselves.

Your partner is their own, individual person. You need to figure out how they prefer to discuss their emotions because some people are more vocal and others are more subtle, some are more open and others are more guarded. You need to figure out what works for the two of you as a couple, and that can take some time, at the start you might get things wrong but we need time to learn about the other person.

When you love someone, you don’t hold back anything, even when it’s scary and your putting your heart on the line.

You don’t keep secrets from them. You don’t leave out certain details because it’s easier than getting into a complex, complicated issue. You are completely transparent with them. You can’t pick and choose when to be honest to make scenarios suit you, if you’re in the right relationship you’ll feel like you can tell them anything and everything no matter what it is. You swear to remain honest, even when it could cause a ripple in your relationship, but you know you’re a team and will tackle issues together. You should value your partner too much to manipulate them, to fool them and twist situations to make sure you never have to tell them something you know they may not like. You would rather be real with them and work through whatever issues might arise.

When you love someone, you check in with them regularly.

You make sure nothing has gone wrong without you realising. You make sure they’re still feeling appreciated, loved, and confident about where your love story is heading. Instead of assuming everything is fine, you actually ask your partner where their head is at, and if something has been wrong, you take steps to fix it. You don’t talk without taking action. You follow through on what you say, make sure conversations never fall on deaf ears because that could cause as much damage as not talking. Actions always speak louder than words.

When you love someone, you don’t distance yourself from them emotionally. You don’t put up a wall, shutting them out. You don’t allow your fears from past experiences cloud your current relationship, even when you can feel yourself getting more emotionally vulnerable you speak up and tell them where you’re at and how you feel, even if you’re feeling scared.

You let them see every side of yourself, even the parts you like the least, the parts you try to hide from everyone else, because you know they aren’t going anywhere and they sure as hell won’t judge you or try and change you. You know you can trust them to stay even when you guys are facing tough times together, you know they aren’t going anywhere. You know being open and honest with them is only going to push you closer together, not wrench you further apart.

And that is why you should learn to communicate with the person you love or care about.

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The good the bad and the beautiful parts of dating a writer

As much as it sucks to admit, a writer either loves deeply or not at all. Writers are romantic, love is something writers usually write a lot about whether they’ve had a good or bad experience with it. But if you’ve dated them, don’t for a second thing you haven’t inspired something they’ve written.

But this is why you should give your heart to a writer, there will never be a shortage of words which they’ll use to express their love and devotion to you. And for a while (or maybe forever if you’re lucky) you’ll be their inspiration. They’ll play out the story of the two of you in so many ways you didn’t even realise were possible.

They’ll obsess over your details, taking in every inch of how you are and the way you do things, from the shape of your lips, the colour of your eyes and I mean the real colour, the way your hair feels when they run their fingers through it, and how it sits when you’ve just got out the shower. They’ll notice the way you carry yourself in public, how you walk and even your complexion and how it changes when you get embarrassed.

They’ll notice every mannerism you have, and because of this they will be able to notice in explicit details when you’re happy, sad, angry or any time your mood slightly changes. You’ll be the inspiration for them to create stories that other people spend time reading about. Know that writers feel everything so deeply (sometimes too deeply). And, because of this, they’ll love you just as deeply, and sometimes this may come off strong but it’s just how they work.

A writer will fully commit to you even before you’ve asked them to. As picky as they are with their words, they’re also very picky with the people they choose to love. And when they find someone special, they’ll give every piece of themselves that they physically can. They’ll invest themselves in you and will continue to do so for the rest of their lives, or as long as you let them. They won’t hold back from giving you everything you need to make yourself as good as you can be.

A writer is a dreamer and will take you to places you’ve never been to, both physically and figuratively. They’re explorers and always looking for new experiences. They will sweep you off your feet and bring you into their fantasy world, to a place only a few have ever been allowed into. They will generate ideas and create scenarios that sometimes creep into their real life and leads to them being slightly over analytical when it comes to the person they care about.

A writer is passionate. They yearn for more out of life, and they love life in a way others don’t. They see life in a way others can’t. They experience life in a way others can’t, they use passion to fuel their writing and their life. The same way they are passionate about their life and work, the same way they will be passionate about you. They’ll offer you an intense level of passion, with them you’ll have found yourself with an unforgettable lover, someone who you will always say you have insane sexual chemistry with.

They’ll crave physical touch and they are happiest when laying next to you running their hands across your bare skin, taking in every inch of you, the way your muscles move and the shape of your back as you sleep, each freckle, scar and stunning imperfection that make you, you. And they’ll love every bit of it because it’s just more to take in.

A writer is full of emotions and any emotion they feel is felt at such a high intensity it sometimes makes them question their own judgement. They work with feelings, and they’ll be understanding of yours, always. You’ll never have to hide your emotions because they’ll know what you’re feeling even when you don’t utter a single word. They’ll be there for you when you’re feeling sad or down or even unable to process exactly what your emotions even mean. This is why you should give your heart to a writer because the ugly parts of you won’t make them love you any less, if anything, they’ll love you even more.

You should give your heart to a writer because there will always be more than what meets the eye with them, you’ll meet them and think they’re kind, but that will only be the top layer. You’ll soon come to realise they’re well-educated, empathetic and well-spoken. They’re observant and have a deep mind. They’re kind-hearted and will never judge you for feeling the way you do or expressing it in ways that aren’t conventional. They are rare.

You should give your heart to a writer because they’ll help you see how amazing you are. They’ll tell you every detail you want to know about yourself and will help you understand where you’ve gone wrong. You’ll soon be forced to realise things about yourself that you didn’t even pick up on. But they’ll make you realize that your flaws don’t even matter because they can look past them and see the real you. They want to make you love yourself even more.

You should give your heart to a writer if you want an oddly beautiful, passionate person in your life, who maybe feels things a little too much and who maybe loves a little too hard. But when they fall for you they won’t hold back. You’ll never have to question where you stand or if they want you.

Give your heart to a writer if you’re ready for love and I mean true love, something you’ll always look at with a sort of longing if you ever let it go.

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When they wanted you first

So many people ask the question “how do you get played by someone who wanted you first” and luckily for you, I’m here to help answer it.

It doesn’t matter how long your relationship was with this person, you’ve been left wondering where it all went wrong and how it went from them chasing you to them literally putting the breaks on and heading in the opposite direction.

So what changed between that initial chase at the start to where you are right now which I’m guessing is heartbroken and confused.

Let’s take a jump back to when the two of you first started dating, I’m going to assume they asked you out first? You probably checked your diary and decided to fit them in when it was most convenient for you. You’d have fit them in around your usual social plans, the time you usually spend with your friends or the time you spend doing whatever makes you happy. Whatever the case, you found time when it was convenient for you and when you could give them some time amongst your other priorities.

When you guys first started seeing each other you probably set some standards like ‘no last minute plans’ or something along those lines to keep them on their toes and to make them realise that when they want to spend time with you it can’t just be on a whim, you wanted them to make an effort and plan stuff with you.

But, without you even realising, as you started to like them more, your priorities and standards started to change.

You started factoring what you wanted to do around them rather than the other way around, when they wanted to see you last minute you’d jump at the chance. You lost value in your own time because you valued the time you spent with them above everything else.

So when you sit there wondering why they ghosted or played you when they wanted you first. Stop to have a think if this could be because you forgot the value of your own time and if you lost sight of the value of your own time, can you really be surprised if they did too?

They chased you in the first place because your time was desirable, you were busy and had lots going on. They knew that the time you gave them was valuable and they kept chasing after it, however when this changed and you started to give your time up at a drop of a hat, it made you seem less valuable and less chase worthy.

This kind of happens when we start to like someone, but we need to make sure we don’t let it happen too early on. We need to make sure they keep chasing our valuable time until they’ve earned a place in our lives when they shouldn’t have to keep chasing us. But until then, you need to remind them that if you’re giving them your time, you’re also giving them something that you can never get back, so they better make sure it’s worth it.

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Here’s to all the ones we thought we’d never get over

This is for the one you thought would be etched into your heart forever. The one you sat and cried for over and over again. Or maybe you’re even still awake at stupid times in the middle of the night wishing you were waking up and seeing them laying next to you.

The reality is, missing someone is easy because it’s the part we have no control over. How we handle missing them is the hard part, do we let it consume everything we do, or do we own it and say to ourselves “it’s ok to feel like this for now”.

Its normal to miss someone when we genuinely have a connection with them. When we have a history with someone it doesn’t even matter how long the chapter was that they had in our lives, we’ll miss them. And that’s totally ok.

Sometimes when missing someone becomes hard it’s because we start to think of the scenarios, of how things could be different. What if we did something differently? Would everything change? The problem with “what if” is that we’ll never really get the answers we’re looking for because we can’t force or control the actions of others. We have no way to know how a person really feels or why they’re doing the things they do. All we can do is believe in what actions we see.

And the reality is, if they missed you too, they could do something about it. If they’re the one that walked away, they’re the one who knows what direction will also lead them back to you. Their “I miss you too’s” have as much sincerity as your mum telling you to “have fun” when you’re on your way to a party.

Actions speak louder than words. ALWAYS.

So you know what’s going to make it easier to get over the one you never thought you’d get over? The lack of their actions meeting their words. Their inability to fight for you and show you just how much they want you in their lives.

Eventually you’ll realise you’ve found someone else who treats you better than they did. Who makes you feel more important than they did and who makes you feel like they want you to be a part of their lives every day.

It’s also ok if someone you’ve been with for months had a bigger impact on you than someone you’ve been with for years. There’s no rules and regulations for this kind of chaos. Missing someone is fine.

And although maybe right now you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. You can’t imagine not wishing they were next to you but trust me you will and that’s the day you’ll realise they didn’t fight for you the way they should have, they didn’t treat you like you were rare and something they should protect.

But that’s cool, because everything you gave to the wrong one will be worth traveling to the moon and back for to the right one.

So chin up, and lift a glass for the one you think or thought you’d never get over. Because you wouldn’t be where you are today without them.

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Here’s what I would have said

If we’d have sat down and had the conversation that I wanted us to, so I could walk away from this feeling like I’ve had closure, because you’d have been able to look me in the eye and tell me why you did things the way that you did, here’s what you would have heard me say.

You’d have had a chance to listen to me tell you that I’ll never hate you, not even one bit. In fact, it makes me sad that you even think I could. There’s no malice here, I hope you find everything in life that makes you happy, I’ll always care about you and you deserve the best. I mean it.

I know for a while I was something that was making you happy, but then that changed and you know what, that’s ok. It’s ok to get rid of things that no longer serve a purpose in your life. You should be surrounded by things that help you develop and grow. I’m sad that I was no longer doing that for you. But it is what it is.

I hope you succeed in everything you set your mind to in life, and I hope that if you learnt anything from our relationship it was that above all else, honesty and communication between two people who care about each other is THE most important thing.

I’ve sat down numerous times and tried working out why you handle things the way you do, and I think I may understand now.

Your sensitive personality stops you from telling people you care about information that you think could hurt them, you don’t want to be able to see how your words are actually affecting them so your ability to deal with difficult conversations in person seems slightly insufficient.

But just know this, you’ll end up coming off as the bigger person in future if you can deal one fatal blow of shit information to someone face to face rather than tiptoeing around it and never actually getting it off of your chest.

Not wanting to hurt people is a lovely trait and it’s one of the reasons I respect you the way that I do. But for the love of god ….. understand that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind! You’re a good person with a bad communication style (no offence).

I want you to know that we’re not on bad terms, there’s no ‘he deserves whatever he gets’ mentality. None of that, that’s a game for children who can’t respect another persons decisions. I want you to be happy and I hope that in the future I’ll still be a part of your life to see you succeed and smash all your ambitions, not as a lover or a girlfriend, but this time as a friend who’s always in your corner encouraging you to keep going when you lose sight of what you want.

I think you’re pretty bloody special and you taught me some very valuable lessons that I’m glad I learnt from you and no one else. Like the fact that I’m calm and not crazy when I’m with the right person, or that you don’t have to constantly be naked with someone to get to know them (although the being naked part was very fun too).

Vulnerability comes from deep conversations over a Sunday morning brunch, or from doing face masks together and winding down from a days work, or even from leaving your comfort zone to do activities with them that there is no way you’d normally do, but you do it because it would make them happy.

So this is me, putting down in writing everything I would have told you if you’d have given me the chance.

I want you to know that respect you and your decisions way more than you’ll ever understand. I think you’re an amazing person who deserves all the happiness in the world and I’ll always care about you, no matter how much you’ve annoyed me, or put my back up.

You’d have understood that I’m not going to convince you of reasons why I’d be good wife material. Because I’m way too stubborn for that, in my eyes I’m either enough for someone or I’m not, and one day someone is going to love what I am so much, they’ll never want to let it go. But I’d be lying if I said I’m not gutted that wasn’t you.

I’d have explained that honesty is my dealbreaker. Once I feel like someone hasn’t been honest with me I find walking away from a romantic situation pretty easy, if I feel like someone doesn’t respect me enough to be honest then I know I need to find someone else who does.

But amongst all of this, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope you’ll keep a place in your life for me just as I’ll always keen a place for you in mine.

Once all of the emotion fades we’ll be friends ….. eventually, right?

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How to show respect to your partner

When you think about what makes a relationship successful, your answers would probably be similar to others: chemistry, timing, sexual attraction.

But what about respect? Have you stopped to consider how important respect from your partner is to you?

That might be an extreme case, but I hear friends talk about doing the same sort of actions on smaller scales. Then they point fingers at what is going wrong in their relationship when, really, a finger should be pointed back at them.

Researchers found that people who felt more respect from their partner also felt more satisfied in the relationship.

Lack of respect in a relationship is more likely to erode at a relationship. It’s a vicious cycle that once you feel disrespected by a partner, you start to lose respect for them as well.

But a lot of actions of disrespect are so small they can easily go undetected. It can be as simple as a gesture or phrase that makes your partner feel like you don’t appreciate them.

The most common ways partners show disrespect are:

Calling your partner names. There’s never a just time to call someone an “idiot” or “crazy” Name-calling does no good for a relationship. All it achieves is making your partner feel distanced from you.

Criticizing them. This includes when you’re in front of your partner and also what you say about them to others. Disrespect doesn’t always happen in-person; bad-mouthing your partner when they’re not around is a sign you’re not on the same team.

Showing contempt through body language. This looks like rolling your eyes, crossing your arms, refusing to look at your partner, etc. They’re simple gestures but ones that create a barrier for healthy communication.

The bright side of all of this is, there are easy ways to show your partner respect. Aside from cutting out the above, try changing your behavior in these ways:

1. Accept that you both have different opinions/ways of doing things

If your goal in a relationship is to find someone you never disagree with, you’re going to be on that journey for the rest of your life.

No two people share the exact same views and opinions, and that’s not a bad thing. Being with someone that has opinions different from yours means you have a chance to widen your perspective and learn a bit about acceptance.

Instead of trying to make your partner see things your way, respect that you both see things differently, and that’s a beautiful thing. Let your partner be who they are.

2. Practice trusting

Respecting someone includes trusting them until they give you a reason not to.

But this is hard for people, especially when their trust has been broken in the past.After having experience with people who threaten to leave and lovers cheat, sometimes we become wary of giving our heart to someone new. And relationship experts say pin trust issues as being the most prevalent amongst couples.

Communicate with your partner your experience with trust. Take note of moments when your partner was there for you. Consider the beliefs you hold around romantic love and whether they’re logically based on your current relationship or not.

Creating trust with your partner is a process you can only do for someone you respect.

3. Listen to what they say

Actively listening to your partner is more than just the everyday listening people do. It involves actually hearing and understanding what the other person is saying.

When you actively listen, you’re telling your partner, “I very much care about what you’re conveying to me. I am here for you.”

All too often, people are so caught up in what they’ll say next, they don’t actually hear what their partner says. You might overstep their words or completely miss their point.

But actively listening strengthens relationships. Researchers have found that couples who felt heard by their partners also felt happier about their relationship.

So next time your partner wants to talk about something serious, sit down with them. Put away your phone. Make eye contact as they speak to you. Focus on exactly what they’re saying and ask questions if you don’t understand.

Respect your partner by giving them your undistracted time and attention.

4. Don’t play games

There’s a lot of reasons people play games. I used to because I felt insecure. I didn’t want to come off as eager, so I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to text first.

Whatever the reason, playing games is ultimately disrespectful and deeply hurtful to a relationship.

If a couple gets into a fight, one of them not texting the other person back does a few things: it prolongs the fight and doesn’t respect the time of the other person.

The same goes for other forms of playing games, like guilt-tripping, withholding affection, giving too much affection, etc.; they’re all going to cause you and your partner pain.

Instead, practice healthy communication. It not only shows respect to your partner, but you’ll be happier in the long run, too.

5. Validate your partner’s feelings

Don’t dismiss your partner’s feelings as “irrational” or “dramatic.”

What someone feels is what they feel, no matter if you agree. The fact is, when your partner is upset, they’re upset. And you telling them not to be isn’t going to help.

As psychologist Carl Rogers said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!”

That’s because when a person validates your feelings rather than dismissing them, they’re entering your world. They stay with you in the moment and try to see things from your perspective.

Respect how your partner feels by validating their feelings. Statements like, “I can see you’re upset” or “I understand why you’re mad” go a long way.

Respect is an easy thing to give that means a lot to someone, your partner included.

If you think your relationship lacks respect, start with changing your actions. Sometimes, we think we aren’t part of the problem, and most of the time, that’s not the case.

Your partner is most likely a top priority, so show them the above and beyond respect they deserve.

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It’s the two of you vs the problem

Let’s play out a scenario, a couple who are crazy about each other torn apart by the concept of “what if this goes wrong”.

To figure out if the relationship is worth fighting through this cloud of doubt for they decide to spend some time apart, both figuring out if they are willing to risk getting hurt.

But the irony is, you’ve now taken yourself away from the reminder of what you’re fighting for, you want to figure out if you can get past your “what if” problem and you’ve chosen that the best way to do it is by not being around them.

It feels like you’ve taken the problem and somehow let it come in the middle of the two of you. Now it’s turned into a you vs them situation, where the game is who can act like they’re less bothered and who can pretend to care less. As if the time apart isn’t phasing either of you.

How it should have been, is the two of you vs the problem. There’s an issue in your relationship, well you know how people typically get over that? By facing it head on together and supporting each other through times of uncertainty. That’s how problems get sorted, not by ignoring them and creating more distance.

The one proven way to make any relationship stronger, is by getting through the hard parts together as a solid unit. Not by pushing each other away and hoping that an empty space will solve everything for you.

Relationships take work, so take that issue the two of you have and use it to make you stronger together, by twisting it into a the two of you vs the problem situation.

As much as some people may disagree, space and distance do not help two people overcome a relationship problem. An issue in a relationship should be handled by the two of you together and if it turns out that the problem can’t be fixed, at least you can say you’ve tried.

Giving up and pretending like you don’t care is the biggest relationship failure, give the two of you some credit. Risk the make or break scenario.

Looking back at something and thinking you could have tried harder is the biggest punch in the face kind of feeling you could ever have.

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You’ve been here before. It will be fine

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He’s not the first waste of space to make you question your worth and make you feel like you’re not good enough and I hate to admit it, but you’re young so he probably won’t be the last either.

Whats the saying, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find one that’s well … a little less slimy.

I actually think the saying should be you can have a lot of free trials before you find one that makes you want to sign yourself away for a lifetime subscription.

I know that right now this one seems like the end of the world but it’s not, he’s just the most recent one and the freshest mark of experience. You’ll be fine trust me.

He wasn’t even worth the sleepless nights and constant back and forward messages to all your friends asking for advice on whether you should reach out, that was wasted effort. What you should have been doing as soon as he made you question how he felt about is focusing all your effort and attention on remembering why you’re one the most amazing people he could have ever come into contact with in the first place and when he realises that it will suck for him.

The second anyone makes you question where you stand with them is the moment you need to spend less time focusing on them and more time focusing on remembering who you are.

And yes I get it, you really liked this one, he seemed different. They normally always do at the start, but you can’t convince someone to see how amazing you are and if they can’t see it, well f**k them. Spend more time around your friends and family who make you feel like you’re worthy of more than just a fleeting spot in someones life.

So I know it will hurt right now, you’ll be wondering why you weren’t good enough, why he would walk away and pretend like the two of you never felt a connection stronger than either of you had ever felt before.

But remember, it’s not your fault he’s scared of being with someone who he knows is better than him.

You were more mature and adult than anyone he’d been with, you weren’t scared of your feelings and although you can admit to not being perfect you wanted to grow with someone who wasn’t ready to make themselves better.

Please just remember, you’ve been here before, you might be here again but the main thing is …. you’ll be fine. You don’t need someone else to be you.