The last time you asked her, “What do you want?” She wasn’t really sure how to answer you, so she stayed quiet thinking for a while. It felt like a big question, and she knew she didn’t want to mess up the answer.
But secretly she knew what she wanted, she was just way too afraid to say it. It seemed silly to say it aloud, and she wasn’t ready to admit it to herself anyway just out of fear of getting hurt by owning up to her own feelings.
But now she would know that she should just give the answer she could feel on the tip of her tongue. So ask her again and this time she won’t hesitate. She won’t stay quiet even though she’s still afraid, but she knows this is bigger than her fear. If it means she has to stop being scared and take a risk, she’ll do it.
Ask her again and she’ll tell you. She just wants you.
Although she’s scared to admit it, she wants you in the unfiltered moments, where you’re both still half asleep but you reach out and pull her close towards you in the mornings, with her hand on your chest and you breathing in her hair while you’re sleeping, that’s what she wants. She wants you when you nestle in closer just to be near her as she runs her fingers through your hair.
She wants to wake up next to you, she wants to know that you’re safe, that you’re hers and you’re not going anywhere. She wants the safety she feels when you’re beside her, because one’s ever given her that sense of calm and safety before.
She wants the dark days with you, she isn’t scared to sit with you on the days when the sun has fallen from the sky and light ceases to exist.
She wants you in the moments when you can’t figure out why she would even want you because your life feels like a mess sometimes and you think she deserves better but she wants to always be there to reassure you that you matter and that you’re doing the right thing. She just wants you to always believe her when she tells you how valuable and amazing you are.
She will even still want you when you break her heart, when she walks away crying and wondering if that’s the last time she’ll see you. She wants you when you push her away and shut her out because you’re scared because she’ll still want you when she does the same.
She wants you even when you’re working through difficult periods of life together. When shit gets real and struggles become almost too much, she will still want you.
She wants you on the good days when you make her laugh so hard at your stupid jokes that she can’t remember what the silence sounds like. She wants you when you smile at her just because you’re happy to see her.
She wants that lazy Sunday morning feeling with you. That feeling when the sun is moving through the sky but time is standing still for the two of you, waking up in each other’s arms with not a brief care in the world for that short period of time.
She wants you when she see the hope in your eyes, the hope that the two of you might make it. She wants you in the midst of the uncertainty, because nothing in life is guaranteed, but she seems not to mind it so much when she’s with you because she’s excited for the two of you to figure life out together one crazy step at a time.
She just wants you.