It actually isn’t him, it’s you!

How many hours have you pondered his thoughts? Wondering what he’s doing? Why he isn’t texting you, if he’s texting someone else, when he’s actually going to reach out.

How much time do you waste wondering what he may never tell you and what he’s thinking?How many minutes, staring at your screen trying to dissect every last text. Understand why he follows who he follows. Why he posts what he posts.

So. Many. Why’s.

While you’re sitting up late at night, wondering the thoughts of his brain you’re wasting time. Time you could spend on so many other people, and things. On people who actually follow through with their actions. People who continuously show you how much they care about you. But it still isn’t enough, if it isn’t coming from him, right?

How many minutes you have wasted on his thoughts, when you could have been doing something for you. Finally finishing that book you keep re-starting. Draw a bath. Grab a drink with an old friend. No. Instead he has wrapped his hands around your brain, once again. Once again, you are paralyzed by the idea of his ideas. By his thoughts, and your lack of knowledge.

And then just like that, you look at your phone and he’s reached out. Just like nothing ever happened, like no time has passed. Simply ready to strike up another conversation, like all is well in the world. And all is well. All has been well. But then you begin to think about all that time you wasted, when you could have been enjoying the moments you were in but instead you’ve spent all day distracted and closed off from everything. All this time wasted worrying about what his mind was thinking. Giving him all this power over you. All this power, he isn’t even aware he’s had!

The wasted time isn’t his fault though, he didn’t ask you to dissect his every move, he didn’t ask you to read into his Instagram posts, he didn’t ask for any of it. He didn’t even know it was happening, he literally had no idea! No idea that a day of not speaking would do this and drive you crazy. While you questioned where his mind was, he was living his life, just like you should have been.

He had no idea you were concerned because he was too busy minding his own business and getting on with his day, all while you wasted your own time. And let’s face it, you’d be too embarrassed to tell him the truth, that this small thing kept you up all night long, not hearing from him had left you wondering the unknown. Venting to your friends, about how you think this is just another loss another waste of time and almost feelings, chalking it up to yet another guy with commitment issues. And you were beginning to question if he’s even good enough for you anyway, or that maybe something’s just wrong with him.

When in all reality, it isn’t him, at all. He still likes you just as much as the day before. He is still interested, he still finds you cute, he still wants to follow through with those Friday night plans.

And of course he does why wouldn’t he? I mean look at you. He just had a bit of a day and you know what those days are like, yet you went crazy over it. It’s time to get out of your own head, but most importantly it’s time to get out of his head.

So seriously, stop getting in your own way with this crazy over thinking and constant questions!


This has an expiry date

Maybe it’s only working because there’s an end date to it?

He only have a limited amount of time to put up with your bullshit and that’s what makes it easier to digest.

If he could have you forever he probably wouldn’t want you, you’d be still circling around looking for any excuse possible for it not to work, but right now, with an expiry date just around the corner, it works.

It probably works because he doesn’t have to prepare to give you his undivided attention for very long and that makes it easier for him. Maybe it works because you won’t have to wade through the “what are we” phase?

He’ll never have to sit down with you and admit he doesn’t want anyone but you and or have to get to a point where he cuts all his other options out, because the time he has with you is so limited, so maybe that’s why he can pretend that he’s in this for now.

Lucky him, to only have to tolerate this weirdness for a short period of time, he should be glad he won’t have to be around you while you fall for him harder because that’s when you tend to get crazy and you know you’d never want to hurt him with what you do to cater for your constant need for attention, which secretly you know is your biggest downfall. It’s the one thing that tends to push anyone away.

You won’t get confused and think that this is really what he really wants, he shouldn’t worry, you get it. He might like you, but he’ll never like you enough to want you forever.

So enjoy this, this crazy whirlwind situation that will leave you missing him way more than he’ll miss you. Enjoy every second you can spend together while you’re still around and desperately wanting to spend every possible moment you can with him.

While you want each other at the same time, for this limited time. Make the most of it.