So what’s the handkerchief approach…. and I need to point out that this should not be confused with the ‘handkerchief code’, that’s totally different. Google it if you’re interested.

The Handkerchief Approach:

Have you ever heard about how women back in the Victorian era would drop a handkerchief on the floor as they walk past a guy on the street that they like the look of? The idea was that the man would then pick it up and chase after her to return it and which would result in them then being engaged in a conversation. ultimately this worked because the guy felt like he was doing the woman a favour ….

Back then it seems that women weren’t sat around waiting for men to approach them, they were out finding the ones they liked the look of and then making sure they got them by doing something about it. Nowadays us girls sit in bars and wait for the guys we like the look of to approach us, when the harsh reality is, they probably won’t.

Do you know who approaches you in a bar? The idiot …. the idiot you keep moaning about attracting.

The idiot approaches you because he’s had a lot of practice, he doesn’t care about being rejected because out of all of the women he’ll approach that evening, there is bound to be one that won’t reject him. But I’ll tell you a secret …. the idiot is always out with a group of friends and they’re the ones not going round approaching as many women as possible, needless to say they’re the ones you actually want to speak to but luckily for you, the idiot has given you a way in!

Men like to feel needed, so play this to your advantage. The guy you actually want to come over to you while you’re out, most likely won’t because he’s not an idiot. Make it easy for him, give him some eye contact and let him know you’ve seen him, even better …. smile at him! A smile goes a long way.

If you want to attract the guys you actually want, then you need to adapt the handkerchief approach and make it into something you can do in this era. Maybe you’re ordering all your friends drinks at the bar and you can’t carry them all? Well conveniently the hot guy you’ve been checking out all evening is stood right next to you while you’re ordering … you may as well just ask for his help right?