It’s funny how we become more attached to toxic relationships than healthy ones that help us grow.

The toxic ones are the ones we stick out for longer than we should, trying to hold on to any element of it that seems salvageable. But realistically, none of it is worth salvaging anyway.

But how can we tell when a relationship has moved from healthy to toxic? Is the person you’re with helping you grow and shape a future you’ll be proud of, is the life you’re in right now the one you hoped for when you were little? Would the past you, be proud of the present you?

If you’ve had to give any of the questions above a second thought, you may want to spend some time evaluating what you’re currently putting yourself through and why.

Holding on to toxic people will stunt your growth, it will stunt your life progress and it ultimately stunts your ability to love, both yourself and others. It keeps you from seeing what was meant to be, because you are too focused on what never will be. That’s the thing with toxic people. They are like leeches, they take and give nothing back and they will never stop until you cut them off and walk away.

I’ve known quite a few of my friends, both male and female to find themselves in relationships that all those around them can see is toxic but they can’t. Toxicity can be blinding, remember that.

You know that thing that people say, about how people choose the love they think they deserve? Well you deserve more. So believe that and choose more.

Ultimately it’s a lot easier said than done and I know that, but when they make you feel guilty when you don’t have the same interests or don’t always want to do the same activities as them, if they ignore your needs and expect you to give up the things that make you happy to make room for theirs: whether it be your friends, hobbies, alone time, etc. They have chosen the idea of you, but want it on their terms, without the things they consider “lame” or “a burden”. They want to mold you into what they think you should be to fit their needs, and they never stop to care what you need or want. But don’t let them! Choose to find someone who accepts all of you, someone who lets you be you and loves you even more for it.

But you didn’t, you’ve let someone change the funny confident up beat version of you that I was so close to all those years ago and that’s a shame. But just remember, it’s never too late to choose yourself and cut those toxic people from your life that want to change you and stunt your growth.