How To Tell He Isn’t The One For You



we have all had that moment, when we’re so wrapped up in a new romance that we fail to notice all the signs pointing to the fact that this won’t be forever, sometimes we need to take a step back and evaluate our relationship. You try and ignore all the flaws that your friends are pointing out because you’re trying so hard to pretend everything is perfect.

So what if he’s not Mr Right? How can you tell?

1. You Don’t Trust Him – Jealousy is healthy, but there are limits, you  should not constantly be wanting to check his social media for any potential competition, or inviting yourself on his boys nights out maybe there’s an issue, if you see him talking to other girls you should never jump to conclusions without talking about things first, look to see if anything warrants this distrust and if there is then this could be a big sign that things are not going to work out.

2. Always Trust Your Gut Instinct – If there’s something that isn’t sitting quite right with you, normally that little voice inside your head. Don’t jump into action to listen to this gut feeling straight away, but don’t ignore it either. Normally that back ground thought is there for a reason.

3. He Doesn’t Like Your Friends – As girls we are normally much more ourselves around our best friends than anyone else and if he doesn’t like you when your’e around your friends then I think this speaks for itself? He should like that you are involving him in plans you have with your friends because it means you want him involved in aspects outside of your alone time.

4. He Has A Forever Changing Attitude Towards You – If he seems a bit bipolar with you this is not good, if he loves you he should always love you, not swing from talking to you like you could be a total randomer to as if you’re the best thing to ever happen to him, the latter point should be how he talks to you constantly. If he jumps down your throat at uncalled for points then these kind of mood swings will never change and they will never be much fun for you to experience.

5. You Dread When He Drinks Around you – And by this I mean any amount of alcohol, because after one drink he turns into a total a**** hole that you would never normally give your time to on a night out, if he’s aggressive or rude that really isn’t something nice to be around and if he gets like this then i’m sure you’d be embarrassed to take him out with your friends as well.

6. He Won’t Listen To Issues You Bring Up – If you want to talk to him about things you aren’t happy with in your relationship you should never be worried to do so, you shouldn’t worry that talking about issues will push him away. He should be happy to talk to you about your relationship worries if it would help the both of you in the long run, if he does’t then the likelihood is he doesn’t have much respect for you or your relationship, every healthy relationship has its ups and downs, its how you get through them that will either make or break you as a couple.

7.  His Bad Habits Really Annoy You – Everyone has small habits that others won’t necessarily like, but if your’e starting to hate him because he bites his nails, maybe you should think if there are some other underlying issues that are making you back away.

8. He Doesn’t Want to Share Things With You – And i don’t mean food, I mean life experiences, he should want you at every big moment with him and you should want the same, but if he’s putting off introducing you to his family and not inviting you out to meet his friends, you should ask yourself why that is. He should want to show you off at every given opportunity not leave you at the sidelines for just when he wants some chill time.

Everyone is different in relationships, but if you can create a list in your head of why you shouldn’t be with someone then maybe that shouldn’t be ignored. Sometimes your friends can be the best people to go for advice because they can see things from an outsiders point of view, But the final evaluation of your relationship should always be down to you.

Feeling Safe In Love

What I’ve learnt about feeling safe with someone.

Feeling safe doesn’t mean that they are there to physically protect you.
It means your heart is safe with them you feel so cared about and looked after that you’re trusting them to keep your heart safe. To keep it unbroken.

Not so long ago I never thought I could fall in love with someone until they made me feel safe, but my opinion has changed.
Safety is such a loose fitting term and could refer to anything, for each individual it may mean something different.

But being safe in love .. That’s a boring idea. If you feel safe maybe you haven’t fully given yourself to someone, your heart can feel safe with them but love is about risk as well, it’s risking how safe you feel, coming out of your comfort zone to make someone else feel loved, it would also mean you’re able to give more of yourself to another person because you are allowing them to take you out of your comfort zone.
Trusting them to be there for you when you no longer feel safe and tucked away from being hurt.

Stepping out of your comfort zone and into the arms of another person seems like a daunting prospect to me, but if I ever want to have the kind of love that’s full of exhilarating experiences … well that’s never going to come from my comfort zone is it?

Holding Everything In Hurts

This isn’t a physical hurt, it’s more like I can feel my mental capacity cracking like a thin sheet of ice. It wasn’t anything sturdy in the first place, years and years of knock backs have been wearing my mental strength thinner and thinner.
It’s a very delicate thing and it’s cracking. It’s my fault it’s cracking because I store resentment, I hold on to it like a sponge. Small things that make me unhappy, small things that people have done that have upset me I will store and keep until I crack.
Like when a dam is holding back too much water. It will hold it back until it can no longer hold the pressure and it breaks. I’m worried that is what’s going to happen to me and then what? Will I just be a shell of a person?
I know what’s caused it, most of it is lots of tiny things that continue to build up and then there’s the one main cause … there’s him. If he had any idea of how much he’d hurt me, if he even knew about the panic attacks I’ve had in my room, the fear I’ve had about leaving the safety of this house out of the fear of seeing him with her. If only he knew how small and insignificant he had made me feel.

I just want to crack and let all of this out, but I’m worried I will take it out on the people I care about most so I need to keep all of this building up anger deep inside so I don’t upset anyone around me.

Even if I do decide to try and figure this out I’m not sure how relevant everything that pours out of me will be.
I’ve tried talking to people about how I feel before and it just doesn’t work. I can’t do it. I’m not an open book, I don’t vent to people because I don’t like letting people in. I don’t want others knowing that some people have such an ability to impact my life so much.

I don’t like showing weakness, so although holding all this hurt in is bad, it would never be as bad as showing weakness.