I’m Still Falling In Love With You





I’m still falling in love with you, and I haven’t yet hit the ground. I’m almost there, though.

I remember when I first started falling for you, it was the little things you would do and say. The small ways you would look at me and hold me. But I remember the first time I noticed something interesting with me and you, I’d subtly make eye contact with you, just for a moment, and your eyes wouldn’t flicker one bit. It was as if in that connected second defined something more than just physical attraction.

You got in my head. You had me. Your persistence didn’t go unnoticed trust me, but I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate your persistence with me.

Even though it was unpredictable and somewhat ill-fitting, looking back to that early phase of us still excites me. It was during this time that I discovered a side of you that I truly adored. I just wanted to know everything about you and I still do. From your biggest fears to your relationship with your parents, I want to know everything and anything in-between. Give me the all dirty details, tell me all the thing you’ve never told anyone else. I’ll love you more, I promise.

Even though you can be moody and impulsive when you have your bad days, it could never outweigh how good it feels to simply be in your arms. I’ll melt away as you pull my body into yours and kiss the back of my neck. Your silly, yet adorable laugh is perfect.

Falling in love with you is making my heart feel like my heart could explode at any second and I remember the first time you made me feel like that. You smiled at me as I turned my head to face you and you were studying my expression, trying to take me in. I was feeling so vulnerable and what you said meant everything … ‘god you’re so beautiful’ you said, not taking your eyes off me, you looked back and fourth from my eyes to my lips and gently kissed me and in that moment I knew I never wanted to hear anyone else tell me I was beautiful apart from you.

You’ll never know the shockwave that hit my body at that moment, like a wakeup call reminding me that you were the real deal. Like this could be something great.

Even as I take this fall towards loving you, I’m fearful. I’m fearful because once I’m done falling, you could destroy me. You could throw my heart on the ground and stomp on it and I don’t want to experience that kind of heartache, not with you. I’m taking a risk with you, because you’re not the safe choice. you could decide to walk at any moment.

But you know what? It feels exhilarating, because now that I’m falling in love with you, I wouldn’t want it any other way. This is how it should feel to fall for someone. It’s worth the risk, if those moments of bliss don’t make you want to put everything into that person, you’ll find yourself catching your footing before you hit the ground.

Be my biggest risk and my greatest win.

Is Love Magic?

How can looking at someone you love fill you with such happiness and dread all at the same time?
This is a question I continuously find myself thinking about, don’t get me wrong. I’m not cynical, not much anyway. I know love exists, I’ve seen it and I believe that I’ve felt it too, I know what it feels like to love someone.
But then I’ve never witnessed what I would consider love, so how can I completely believe in something that I have never seen?
Could it be that there are so many variations of what each of us consider love that we will never see the version we consider as correct?
But why does most love seem to have a sell by date, what type of love is the correct version that means it will stay forever, because whatever that version is I would quite like to find it.
Falling in love is one of the scariest things I know, it’s like metaphorically handing over not only your heart but also your mentality to someone and asking if they wouldn’t mind holding on to it for a while for you, maybe so they can put them in a safe place that only they can get to, out of reach from everyone else.
Love is a selfish expression, something you are only happy to give away while your heart will let you and once you don’t want to give anymore the likelihood is that you will stop, leaving that other person wondering what happened. Leaving them broken. I don’t want someone to be able to break me, not again. I think this make me more of a realist than a cynic.
I’ve seen the painful side of love, where marriages end and families split up. That’s when resentment sets in and I do not wish to resent anyone in this world, I believe life is far too short to hate or resent anyone.
That said, I am not someone who willingly gives her heart to people, trusting someone not to break me is not something that happens easily.
But this one, the one who can fill me with dread and happiness all at once. He’s being trusted, I’m trusting him not to hurt me and this is what love makes me dread, the point where I get hurt. Not all love has to come to it’s unavoidable end though I would hope. Because love truly is a beautiful thing, all those flaws that someone had before just vanish. You would rather stay in with them and do nothing than go out. Love is magic really.